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Bumper Stickers

More funny bumper stickers! Almost more fun than having a life.

lit.gif (3138 bytes)If it has boobs or wheels it will give you a problem.
Submitted by Stan S.

Sacred cows make great hamburger.
Submitted by Karen K.

Now that I've cooked the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?
Submitted by Brandi C.

Take your ex out tonight, one bullet ought to do it.
Submitted by Jenet M.

My other ride is your mom.
Submitted by Amanda B.

Never trust a naked lawyer.
Submitted by Steve F.

If the music's too loud, you're too old.

Lord, I wish to find you, but spare me from those who have!
Submitted by James C.

It looks to me like the ugly fairy kissed you on both cheeks.
Submitted by Dani B.

I am the bad thing that happens to good people.

Be alert. Your country needs lerts.
Submitted by Julie

My other ride is your mom.
Submitted by Amanda B.

My girlfriend only has one breast so I got her a part-time job at Hooters.

If you can read this, there’s someone in front of me.
Submitted by Echo L.

I've seen her wrestle, now I'm gonna see her box.
Submitted by Tony G.

If Democrats and Republicans could read they would be Libertarians.
Submitted by Roscoe K.

Support D.A.M. Mothers Against Dyslexia.
Submitted by Lynn F.

Get off my ass before I start to like it!
Submitted by Natasha M.

It's God's job to forgive Bin Laden. It's our job to arrange the meeting.
Submitted by Vince N.

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to recent cutbacks.
Submitted by Nicole B.

Dr. Kevorkian for White House physician.
Submitted by Mark C.

Hot Flash? No, power surge!
Submitted by Lane T.

Charter Member: Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.
Submitted by Mark M.

God loves you and I'm trying.
Submitted by John B.

All men are idiots. I married their king.
Submitted by Kim F.

I'm not a bitch, I'm the bitch.
Submitted by Nicole T.

If guns are outlawed, can I still use my sword?
Submitted by Shannon S.

Will the last American leaving Miami, please bring the flag?
Submitted by Paul C.

If it wasn't for plumbers, you'd have no place to go.
Submitted by Terrence W.

Sorry my car's a piece of crap, my parents didn't buy it for me.
Submitted by K.G.

I feel so much better since I've given up hope.
Submitted by Valerie A.

Honk if you see something fall off.
Submitted by Ned S.

Driver carries no cash. He's married.
Submitted by John W.

Caution: Will brake for tailgaters.
Submitted by Amber H.

If you think this car is dirty, then you should spend a night with the driver!
Submitted by Alyson T.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Submitted by Ashlyn A.

Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils—people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing.
Submitted by Al Z.

Drugs cause amnesia...and other things I can't remember.
Submitted by Ashlyn A.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Submitted by David F.

The more things change the more they suck!
Submitted by Eileen K.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's just hilarious.
Submitted by Ashlyn A.

If I get you advantage, can I take drunk of you?
Submitted by Danielle F.

Can I test drive your vulva?
Submitted by Beau M.

Watch out for the idiot behind me.
Submitted by Gary A.

I drive far too fast to worry about cholesterol!
Submitted by Beau M.

I live in my own little world, but that's okay. Everybody knows me here.
Submitted by Ginger O.

If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.
Submitted by Mary Ann D.

They said it couldn't be done and I proved it.
Submitted by Brenda M.

Consider the following: The ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic was built by professionals.
Submitted by Matt H.

I brake for hallucinations.
Submitted by Michael D.

Club soda, not seals.
Submitted by Cathy H.

Well behaved women rarely make history.
Submitted by Kathy R.

I'd kick your ass but this is my best dress.
Submitted by Beth W.

We are the people our parents warned us about.
Submitted by T.J.

So you're kids no honor student. Society needs laborers.
Submitted by Jeri S.

Skydiving—good to the last drop.
Submitted by Jim

baby.gif (3127 bytes)I'm a giant midget.
Submitted by Kraig D.

Heck is a place for people who don't believe in gosh.
Submitted by Aislinn L.

I have the body of a god. Buddha.
Submitted by Aislinn L.

To some it's a six-pack. To me it's a support group.
Submitted by Aislinn L.

In case of rapture, can I have your car?
Submitted by Aislinn L.

So few cats. So few recipes.
Submitted by Rex P.

The last time they combined religion and government, people got burned at the stake.
Submitted by R. Forsythe

Boycott ignorance. Sleep in this Sunday.
Submitted by R. Forsythe

Uncle Sam wants you...to bend over.
Submitted by R. Forsythe

If at first you don't succeed, aim lower.
Submitted by Rich T.

Let him who is without aim cast the first stone.
Submitted by Nesta J.

Sometimes you're the bug and sometimes you're the windshield.
Submitted by Todd B.

It's been lovely. I must scream now.
Submitted by Susan H.

Unless you are the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Submitted by Dean M.

If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one.
Submitted by Amanda M.

It may be a small world, but I'd sure hate to paint it.
Submitted by John S.

Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.
Submitted by Michael H.

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
Submitted by Michael H.

I doubt, therefore I might be.
Submitted by Michael H.

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
Submitted by Michael H.

Don’t bother honking or flashing your lights, I'm deaf and blind.
Submitted by John A.

Practice random and senseless acts.
Submitted by Sean M.

Eat a beaver. Save a tree.
Submitted by Teresa S.

That which does not kill me pisses me off.
Submitted by Rich T.

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?
Submitted by Lelie

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Submitted by Lelie

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
Submitted by Lelie

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Submitted by Jeff M.

I'm not losing hair, I'm getting head.
Submitted by Krysti L.

I don't discriminate. I hate everyone equally.
Submitted by Raven

This may not be the Mayflower, but your daughter came across in it.
Submitted by Rob H.

I'm not littering, I'm donating to the Earth!
Submitted by Kyle C.

If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
Submitted by Kyle C.

Save a man from drowning. Take your foot off his head.
Submitted by Nesta J.

Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger please.
Submitted by Kyle C.

Honk if you've never seen a gun fired from a moving vehicle.
Submitted by Jon G.

If morons could fly, this place would be an airport.
Submitted by Donna S.

Necrophilia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.
Submitted by Evie

Back off! I'm not that kind of car.
Submitted by Stefanie B.

I think, therefore I'm single.
Submitted by Ed D.

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure miss him.
Submitted by John R.

Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.
Submitted by Ken L.

I snatch kisses and vice versa.
Submitted by Rich T.

If it isn't broken, fix it until it is.
Submitted by Dan L.

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