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Bumper Stickers

More great bumper stickers. With all the wisdom they contain, who needs to read books?

porn.gif (3339 bytes)You say "psycho" like it's a bad thing.
Submitted by Courtney B.

My other ride is your girlfriend.
Submitted by Peter M.

My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me. I'm going to miss her.

If it isn't broken, fix it until it is.
Submitted by Dan L.

You keep just keep honking, then tonight wonder where your boyfriend is.
Submitted by Melissa E.

Line dancing. See what happens when cousins breed?
Submitted by Gigi

Please do not honk. Driver trying to sleep.
Submitted by Lillie M.

Cracker Jacks must be in the license business again.
Submitted by Lillie M.

Don't laugh, she swallows.
Submitted by Jerry M.

I believe in dragons, good men and other mythological
Submitted by Erika G.

Have a nice day, somewhere else.
Submitted by Stefanie B.

Heaven won't take me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
Submitted by Anthony P.

Thank God I'm an atheist.
Submitted by Reuben M.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
Submitted by Melissa E.

Don't let your mind wonder. It's too little to be left alone.
Submitted by Erika G.

I can tell your parents are close. I'm guessing second cousins.
Submitted by Haley

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.
Submitted by Holly C.

I haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.
Submitted by Holly C.

I've found Jesus! He was behind the couch the whole time.
Submitted by Holly C.

Pass with care. I chew tobacco.
Submitted by J.C.

Get a taste of religion. Lick a witch.
Submitted by Jan G.

In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal.
Submitted by Pam B.

Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
Submitted by Pam B.

My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
Submitted by Pam B.

Joan of Arc heard voices, too.
Submitted by Pam B.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
Submitted by Pam B.

Welcome to Shit Creek. Sorry, we're out of paddles.
Submitted by Michelle R.

Remember my name—you'll be screaming it later.
Submitted by Michelle R.

I’m out of bed and dressed—what more do you want?
Submitted by Michelle R.

Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.

Fishing is not a matter of life or death—it's more important than that.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

Don't steal. The government hates competition.

I is a college student.

Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats.

Forget about world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

Give blood—play hockey.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.

Wink. I'll do the rest.

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

I killed a six-pack just to watch it die.

Hire teenagers while they still know everything!

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Conserve water. Shower with a friend.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.

Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

It's as bad as you think, and they are out to get you.

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

Defecation eventuates.

If there is a tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

Exxon Suxx.

Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.

I don't care who you are, what you are driving or where you would rather be.

Humpty Dumpty was pushed.

My kid had sex with your honor student.

Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

Join the Army. Visit exotic places, meet interesting people, then kill them.

I've run out of sick days, so I am calling in dead.

Support your local undertaker—drop dead.

God must love stupid people—he made so many.

If you're happy and you know it see a shrink.

Sometimes I wish life had subtitles.

Moody bitch seeks nice guy for love-hate relationship.

If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons.

Men aren't pigs...pigs are gentle, cute creatures!

Few women admit their age, few men act it.

Never fight ugly peoplethey have nothing to loose.

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.

If money could talk, it would say goodbye.

Thank God for the IRS. Without them I'd be stinking rich!

I'm the man of this house and I have my wife's permission to say so.

This car is like my husband, if it ain't yours don't touch it!

My wife's other car is a broom.

Honk if you hate noise pollution.

I have a problem with drinkingtwo hands and only one mouth.

A man is not truly drunk until he can't lie on the floor without holding on.

Save Californiawhen you leave, take someone with you.

Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities.

Lost your cat? Look under my tires.

Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.

If you think I'm a lousy driver, wait until you see me putt.

If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will accidentally shoot their children.

I still miss my ex...but my aim is getting better!

I have PMS and a gun...excuse me, did you have something to say?

Worry. God knows all about you.

Fight crime, shoot back.

Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.

I am a slow moving disciple of the Swami Procrastinada.

I'm not tailgating. I'm drafting!

I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it, call a cop!

Back off. I'm a postal worker.

Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Suicide is a way of telling God, "You can't fire me, I quit!"

Strip mining prevents forest fires.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Vote Democratit's easier than working!

Vote Republicanit's easier than thinking!

The early worm gets caught.

Sex is like pizza. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good!

Plunder globally. Manage media locally.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

The waist is a terrible thing to mind.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

Sex without partnerscharter member.

Mom's Travel Agencyask about our guilt trips.

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