Higher education is a wonderful thing. Sadly, most colleges don't offer the kind of real-world courses we'd like to see. Here then are college courses we'd like to see, broken down by gender, just for the heck of it.

Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop

Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge

Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding

Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead

Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum? You CAN Tell the Difference!

If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I

If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II

Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore

Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In

Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In

Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink

Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels

Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper

Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the Goodwill

Retro or Just Hideous? Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts

No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware

Romance: More Than a Cable Channel

Bathroom Accuracy 101

Strange But True: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means

Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut

Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category

Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote

Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet

Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed

Be the First Man to Say These Three Words: "I Don't Know"

Changing Your Underwear—It Really Works

The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty Means Empty

Directions: It's Still Okay to Ask for Them

Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime

Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It

PMS: Learning to Keep Your Mouth Shut

Understanding the Female Response to Coming in Drunk at 4:00 A.M.

Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception

Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

How to Stay Awake After Sex

Garbage: Getting It to the Curb

Helpful Posture Hints for the Couch Potato

How Not to Act Younger Than Your Children

Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

Parties: Going Without New Outfits

Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After the Game

Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet, Too

Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His

Communication Skills I: Tears, the Last Resort, Not the First

Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

Communication Skills III: Getting What You Want, Without Nagging

Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You Can Acquire

Party Etiquette: Drinking Your Fair Share

Telephone Skills: How to Stop Talking and Hang Up

Introduction to Parking

Advanced Parking: Reversing Into a Space

Overcoming Anal Retentive Behavior: Leaving the Towels on the Floor

Water Retention: Fact or Fat

Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not For Human Consumption

Cooking III: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

TV Remotes: For Men Only

Emotions: Men Have Them, Too

Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

Ballet: For Women Only

Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

Appreciating the Humor of the Three Stooges

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