As an inspirational measure, a boss placed a sign in the restroom directly above the sink. It had a single word on it, "THINK!" The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at his sign, and right next to it, above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign, which read, "THOAP!"
TEDDY BEAR COLLECTION
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect and end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?" The woman says, "You can have any prize from the bottom shelf."
A guy sits down in a cafe and asks for the hot chili. The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl." He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the chili bowl is still full. He says, "Are you going to eat that?" The other guy says, "No, help yourself." He takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse in it, and he throws up the chili back into the bowl. The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."
A woman comes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist, "Can you tell me about Viagra?" The druggist says, "What would you like to know?" "What does it do?" she asks. "Well, when I take it, it enhances my libido and prolongs my erection." The woman says, "Can you get it over the counter?" "Yes," says the druggist, "but I'll have to take another pill."
Two men were riding a motorcycle on a windy winter day. When it became too breezy for one man, he put his jacket on backwards to keep the wind from blowing it open. A few miles down the road, the motorcycle hit a tree, killing the driver and stunning the man with the backward coat. Later, when the coroner visited the scene, he asked a rookie policeman standing nearby: "What happened?" "Well, the officer replied, "one of them was dead when I got here, and by the time I got the head of the other one straightened around, he was dead, too."