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Real Signs

More real signs! Just when you think you're as entertained as you can be, we rise to the occasion and give and give and give. We don't need thanks. We just need love. Hopefully, the inappropriate kind. Read on!

In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."

In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."

On a roller coaster: "Watch your head."

On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."

On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."

Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door: "Push, Push, Push."

On a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

On a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."

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On a fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
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On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet—miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

In a dry cleaner's emporium: "Drop your pants here."

On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

In a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a scientist's door: "Gone Fission."

In a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."

At a used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition."

Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

At an auto body shop: "May we have the next dents?"

In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in five minutes. Sit. Stay."

On a music teacher's door: "Out Chopin."

At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a beauty shop: "Dye now!"

On the side of a garbage truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."

In a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."

On the door of a music library: "Bach in a minuet."

In a counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional."

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