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As long as there is news, there will be strange news. We're on the case!


Not the actual woman.

WOMAN ATTEMPTS ALL-SEMEN DIET
(California, Wireless Flash) - A woman in Santa Monica, California, is attempting to lose weight in a manner others may not be able to stomach—an all-semen diet. A plump porn star named Kim Kelly hopes to lose between 10 and 20 pounds by spending 30 days on a diet consisting largely of semen—or as she prefers, "man juice." It may be hard to swallow, but Kelly is shooting for six square meals a day. More than 800 men have offered to help Kelly with her diet. Although experts agree semen is high in zinc and other nutrients, there's no officially recommended daily allowance. Kelly says plans to drink plenty of banana smoothies in between her regular meals because, in her words, "I'm not going to kill myself for this."

WOMAN WHO GOT LEG IN MAIL SUES FOR ANGUISH
(Texas, Reuters) - An Alaska woman, shocked to receive part of her dead father's leg in the mail instead of the gourmet "LobsterGram" she was hoping for has filed suit against the Houston firm that sent it, alleging mental anguish. LaMara Lane wants $1 million for the mental anguish that beset her after opening what she thought was a food gift delivered to her home. But Identigene Inc., which does DNA testing, said it was only following orders from a North Dakota judge when it shipped the leg to Lane. "We have a court order that says send it to this place and this woman," Identigene President Caroline Caskey told Reuters. "I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone." The odd saga began when George Semmens died in North Dakota. He left his $200,000 estate to Lane. A sister of Semmens challenged whether Lane really was his daughter, which resulted in a judge ordering that his body be exhumed for DNA testing. A leg bone and samples of body tissue were sent to Identigene, where tests confirmed Lane was his daughter. Tony Buzbee, a lawyer for Lane, told reporters the leg was supposed to be cremated, but was sent to her by mistake. It arrived in a container designed to keep the contents cold, which led Lane to believe she had been sent a LobsterGram, a popular gift in the frozen north. Buzbee told the Houston Chronicle that Lane was so shocked "she's had to store the bone and flesh in her neighbor's freezer." "She can barely talk about it without crying," he said.

WOMAN SHOT IN CHEST BUT SAVED BY SILICONE IMPLANTS
(Brazil) A Brazilian woman, shot in crossfire between police and drug dealers, was saved by her silicone breast implants. Doctors said the silicone had slowed the bullet up enough to prevent it from causing her a serious injury. Jane Selma Soares was caught up in shooting between police officers and drug traffickers in Rio de Janeiro. She told Las Ultimas Noticias newspaper that even though she tried to hide, a bullet hit her in the chest. When she got to a nearby hospital doctors realized her implants had stopped the bullet entering her body further. The doctor who treated her said, "If there was no silicone the bullet could have reached a vital organ causing serious damage." A plastic surgeon was called in to fix the damage and took the opportunity to increase the size of Soares' breasts with more silicone. She said, "I'm twice happy, first because my prosthesis saved my life and also because now I look even more beautiful."

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Scrabble Ad Causes An Uproar
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SCRABBLE AD CAUSES AN UPROAR
(Connecticut, AP) - The Caldor department store chain apologized after 11 million copies of an advertising circular showed two smiling boys playing Scrabble around a board with the word "RAPE" spelled out. Caldor said it does not know who did it or how it got past the proofreaders. The discount chain learned of the problem when a customer called to complain about the advertisement, which appeared in a 44-page toy-sale insert that was distributed in 85 newspapers in the Northeast. The word "RAPE" was spelled vertically on the board. At least two other words on the board are nonsense words. "Obviously, it's a mistake," said Caldor spokeswoman Jennifer Belodeau. "It's not something that we would ever have done intentionally.

FUNERAL DIRECTOR ADMITS SPENDING CREMATION MONEY ON STRIPPER
(San Diego) - A former funeral director pleaded guilty to stealing more than $386,000 from clients to spend on himself and an exotic dancer. Houston B. Quick Jr., 55, will be sentenced to three years in state prison for 10 counts of grand theft as a result of a plea agreement. Prosecutors said Quick stole the money form nearly 500 families over an eight-year period. As part of the agreement, he promised to pay back the rest of the money when he gets out of prison. According to court documents, the defendant bragged to a friend that he spent $250,000 on his girlfriend, a dancer he met at a Clairemont strip club. Prosecutors said Quick specialized in low-cost cremations, but he contracted with others to do the actual work. In late 2001, Quick stopped paying his bills. The state Department of Consumer Affairs began investigating allegations that Quick kept a body overnight in his garage and drove corpses around in the back of his sport utility vehicle. One witness said that crematories refused to accept bodies from Quick after he stopped paying his bills. Families who had prepaid for cremation services complained to authorities when they were unable to reach him when it was time to pick up the bodies.

WEST PALM DOCTOR PLEADS GUILTY IN OVERDOSE
(Florida) - A West Palm Beach psychiatrist pleaded guilty to manslaughter in the overdose death of a patient to whom he prescribed nearly 20,000 doses of painkillers, anti-anxiety drugs and sleeping pills in a single year. George M. Kubski, 55, faces up to 15 years in prison for his role in the death of Jamie Massey. Massey, 30, died from "combined drug toxicity," according to an autopsy report. Prescription drug overdose deaths have been rising alarmingly across Florida in recent years, even surpassing deaths from cocaine and heroin, according to state statistics. During the four months before Massey's death, the doctor prescribed so much medication that her average daily dosage was 66 pills. From January through March, Kubski prescribed Massey 3,620 tablets of oxazepam, an anti-anxiety drug; 1,440 tablets of the narcotic painkiller hydrocodone; and 428 tablets of Ambien, a sleeping aid. In all, Kubski prescribed 19,866 pills in the year before the woman's death. He was charged with manslaughter a month later.

BABY KNOCKS STATION OFF AIR
(Australia) - A 17-month-old baby boy pulled the plug on an Australian radio station, knocking it off the air for more than an hour. Nathan Polden was having a look around the Sea FM studio while his mother Deborah and grandfather John from Germany were being interviewed. The pair had been reunited by the radio station after 37 years apart. But just as their story was being told, Nathan crawled behind announcer Paul Gale and found the master power switch. "Young Nathan has hit this button that has shut the whole desk down and then when we hit it back on it did something to the transmitter site and we were off air," explained Gale. A backup transmitter failed because it was damaged by overnight storms. Sea FM was unplugged for one hour and four minutes while the problem was fixed. "I'm trying to get the manager to ship the whole family back to Germany," joked Gale.

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More Sex Equals Better Economy, Analysts Say
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MORE SEX EQUALS BETTER ECONOMY, ANALYSTS SAY
(Singapore, AP) - If people have more sex, they will be happier and more motivated to work and, consequently, the economy will improve, Asian sexologists said while calling for more sexual education across the continent. "When the economy is down, sexual activity is lower as people get depressed and have less sex," said Emil Man-Lun Ng, founder of the Asian Federation for Sexology. "Their quality of life will decrease, with an increase in family violence and divorce." Ng was speaking at the opening of the four-day Asian Congress of Sexology in Singapore, where panelists urged Asian governments to provide more sex education in order to boost fertility and improve quality of life. Singapore is a city-state of four million people known for its strict social controls. The government bans gay sex and routinely censors films, television programs and popular songs dealing with sexual themes. Ng, a psychiatry professor at the University of Hong Kong, said governments should introduce "very broad" sex education campaigns for children of all ages. Education is particularly important in Asia, as people in the world's most populous continent are more ignorant about sex than Westerners because of low literacy rates, Ng said.

RATTLESNAKE KISS LANDS MAN IN HOSPITAL
(Washington, AP) - A man who was showing off for friends by kissing his new rattlesnake was bitten on the lip and nearly died. Matt George, 21, was hospitalized in critical condition after the incident. George had caught the rattlesnake on a recent trip to Arizona. Holding the two-foot snake behind the head, he kissed it in front of his friends. "I said, 'OK, man, you're being stupid, put it away,'" recalled Jim Roban. "He said, 'It's OK, I do it all the time.'" After the second kiss, the snake bit him under his mustache. He dropped the snake on the kitchen floor, and Roban killed it with his cowboy boot. As they waited for an ambulance to arrive at George's home, his face began to swell. "He said, 'I'm going to die,'" Roban said. "I said, 'No, you're not going to die, just calm down and relax.'" Sheriff's Deputy Steven Johnson said he watched in the ambulance as George became limp and his eyes rolled back in his head. George was flown by helicopter to a hospital in Portland, Oregon.

STORM OVER BABY-EATER ARTIST
(China) - A TV show in which a Chinese performance artist is seen apparently eating the flesh of a stillborn baby has sparked outrage. The gruesome spectacle will be seen in the Channel 4 documentary Beijing Swings on Thursday. It has already been widely condemned by politicians and lobby groups. Artist Zhu Yu, who claims he was sick after the scenes were filmed, says his Christian religion is reflected in his art, because Jesus is related to blood, death and wounds. But Conservative MP Ann Widdecombe said, "Jesus Christ said suffer the little ones to come unto me, not that they should be eaten for public entertainment. This program sounds hideous."

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