Someday, when you're on your deathbed, you won't remember your job, or the troubles you have suffered in your life. You will remember only the strange news. Hey, it could happen.
Not actual panda porn.
PANDA PORN UPS NUMBERS
The giant panda has been on the list of endangered species for a number of years, but could now be on the road to recovery. Chinese and American scientists are celebrating a year of remarkable success for their panda breeding programs. Pandas are a species known for being reluctant romantics, but these beloved creatures have been assisted in their attempts at procreation by artificial insemination techniques. Some animals have also been shown some "interesting" videos to remind them how it should be done. The videos, sometimes referred to as "panda porn" because they show pandas in the act of mating, are beamed into panda enclosures as a form of inspiration.
MAN FALLS TO HIS DEATH: DOG ARRESTED
(Taiwan) - Police in the Taiwanese county of Ilan recently arrested a dog in connection with the death of an 85-year-old man, who died after falling off a hospital bed recently. The man, identified only as Lin, was treated for a bite wound on his right leg at a hospital in Ilan before his fall. "He was attacked by the dog when he passed by a betel nut vendor in January and was left with a six centimetre cut caused by the bite," a police officer said. "The family of the old man claimed that were it not for the dog bite, Lin would not have checked into the hospital and would never have fallen from the hospital bed," the officer said. The family holds the dog's owner liable for the tragedy and demanded compensation, the officer said. But the owner claimed the dog was a stray which he took pity on and fed with leftovers. The officer said they finally decided to arrest the dog pending further investigations before deciding what to do with it.
MAN HELD FOR GERMAN CANNIBAL KILLING
A man has confessed to murdering and eating another man who allegedly volunteered to be killed, in a case that has shocked Germany. The 41-year-old videotaped the murder, prosecutors said. The victim, also in his 40s, was chopped into pieces at the killer's home in the central German town of Rotenburg, near Kassel. Prosecutors in Kassel said the accused and the victim were apparently homosexuals who shared cannibalistic tendencies. The German daily Bild reports that the victim, from Berlin, had seen an advertisement on the Internet that said: "Seeking young, well-built men aged 18 to 30 to slaughter." The victim, a computer engineer, then sold all his possessions including a car before disappearing, the paper reports. The state prosecutor's office in Kassel said the man died from deep cuts to the neck. The killer then chopped up the body and kept the parts in his fridge. Police found deep-frozen human flesh, skeleton parts and video recordings at the scene.
MALAYSIA BANS HUMILIATING BRAD PITT AD
(Malaysia) - Malaysian officials have banned a car ad featuring Hollywood heartthrob Brad Pitt, saying the promotion could be humiliating to Asian looks. According to the official Bernama new agency, the move comes as part of a broader effort by the government to reduce the number of non-Malaysian faces used in local advertising. In comments directed at the country's advertising agency, Malaysian Deputy Information Minister Zainuddin Maidin said the widespread use of Western faces in advertisements could create an inferiority complex among Asians. "Why do we need to use their faces in our advertisements? Are our own people not handsome?" Bernama quoted him as saying. Commenting on the Pitt advertisement he said, "We barred the advertisement as it appeared as a humiliation against Asians."
LONG HAIR IS A RELIGION FOR MICHIGAN MAN
(Michigan, Wireless Flash) - A man in Kentwood, Michigan, is truly religious about his long hair. In fact, he's created a religion to celebrate it. The man, who calls himself "Reverend Erik," leads a small but growing group of guys who have dedicated their lives to growing their hair as long as possible. It's not an easy path to follow. It took Reverend Erik 14 years to get his "protein strands" to their current length--halfway between his rear and knees--and he says he won't be a "hair god" until his locks touch the ground. Reverend Erik insists his hair-raising religion is his way of stopping the persecution of men with really long hair. Besides being called Rapunzel by kids, men with long hair often have to deal with pressure to get their hair cut.
DOCTOR LOSES LICENSE
(Pennsylvania) - A Lehigh County psychologist has lost her professional license because she had inappropriate business and personal relationships with several clients, according to a state agency. Elizabeth DelPezzo permanently surrendered her license after the state Bureau of Professional and Occupational Affairs accused her of exploiting her relationship with clients. Officials said several clients lived with her, performing household duties or paying rent as compensation. DelPezzo promised one of those clients "everlasting life" if she helped DelPezzo. She told the client that the client's parents were the Roman soldiers who cast stones at Jesus Christ. DelPezzo could not be reached for comment.
Beast Traps Woman in Home
BEAST TRAPS WOMAN IN HOME
(England) - A British woman is reported to have recoiled in terror after seeing what she believed to be a sinister dark shape outside her front door. For the next 24 hours she was virtually imprisoned in her home, convinced the so-called Beast of Bodmin had wandered on to her doorstep. Eventually she called the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals), whose officers rushed to the scene to confront the snarling beast--only to find that it was in fact a black plastic bag containing a number of telephone directories.
TAIWANESE CAT A HOME WRECKER
(Taiwan, AP) - Many couples divorce because the wife refuses to share her husband with another woman. For one Taiwanese couple, the home wrecker was a cat. A judge said recently that he allowed a woman to divorce her husband because she refused to share the couple's bed with the man's cat. Frequent squabbles over the cat made it difficult for the couple to live together, ruled Chen Tsai-wang, a Panchiao District Court judge in suburban Taipei. The pampered pet was a problem because it frequently wet the bed, Chen said. Although the man promised to house train the feline, the marriage was beyond repair, the judge said. "The couple has been estranged for a year, and it would be too late to make remedies," Chen told the Associated Press. The husband had allowed the cat to urinate "on the bed and anywhere at home," the woman's brother, identified only by his surname, Yang, told TVBS cable news network. "He refused to put the cat in another room. This showed how he had ignored my sister's feelings," the brother said.
HUMAN FOOT FOUND IN LAUNDRY
(Stockholm, Reuters) - Staff at a laundry washing hospital linen found a human foot, a Swedish newspaper said. The foot, with painted toenails, was found recently at a commercial laundry in Eskilstuna, west of Stockholm, which washed linen from several hospitals, Eskilstuna-Kuriren said on its Web site. A local police officer told the newspaper police were waiting for a medical report on the foot and how it had been separated from the leg before deciding whether to open a criminal investigation.
RUGBY SPECTATOR BANNED FOR URINATING ON LINESMAN
(London, Reuters) - A spectator who urinated on a linesman at a rugby tournament in Kent southeast England last year has been banned from any rugby activity for five years by the Rugby Football Union (RFU). An RFU disciplinary panel found Vince Dunne, of Croydon, guilty of "conduct which is prejudicial to the interests of the game" after the incident involving a 16-year-old linesman in May last year. Dunne's Surrey club, Shirley Wanderers RFC, has already terminated his membership.
FIGHT WITH COMPUTER BRINGS SWAT TEAM
A 32-year-old Boulder man who had opened his apartment's patio door to enjoy unusually warm weather was later overheard screaming threats and seen waving what appeared to be a handgun, prompting a maintenance worker to call police. Officers, as a precaution, evacuated the man's apartment building and called SWAT officers to assist in defusing the situation. It turned out that the man was simply upset at his computer, which he had called a "bitch" he "wanted to kill" police said, and the gun was a plastic pellet gun, not the .45-caliber automatic handgun it was made to resemble. "It was alarming and concerning and expensive for us, but the man's conduct didn't warrant any criminal charges," Deputy Police Chief Dave Hayes said. The man, whose name wasn't released because he wasn't arrested on suspicion of any crime, was cooperative once police contacted him. Police did not confiscate the pellet gun, but with the man's permission, they took another firearm from his home "for safekeeping." "He was very surprised, embarrassed and apologetic," Hayes said.
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