Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and teach him how to bore a hole into his own head, and we'll all be entertained at his expense. Read on...
Not the actual puddle stomper.
FLORIDA SIXTH-GRADER WHO STOMPED IN PUDDLE ARRESTED
(Florida, AP) - There was no kid-glove treatment for a 12-year-old who stomped his feet in a puddle and sprayed classmates and a school official. Deputy Tim Langer hauled Kyle Fredrikson off to jail and charged the boy with disruption of an educational institution, a misdemeanor. Kyle's parents were outraged. "The inmates had access to him. Can you imagine that for stomping in a mud puddle?" said his father. Authorities say Kyle was walking to class when Langer said the boy "purposely stomped in the water" after being told numerous times to stay out of the rain. Langer took the boy to a school office where he was cuffed, put in a patrol car and taken to jail. After two hours in a holding room, the youth was released to the custody of his mother and grandmother.
MAN DIES AFTER DRILLING HEAD
(England) - A man has died after attempting to drill a hole in his head with a power tool. The 42-year-old was found unconscious in a locked room by police who were called to his home in Torquay, England. He had a wound to his right temple and a power tool was found next to him. The man, who has not been named, was taken by ambulance to Torquay hospital in a critical condition and later died, police said. The police were called to the scene by the man's wife.
MAN'S AFFAIR WITH GOAT A TRAGEDY, COURT TOLD
A man who lacked the skills to form relationships with people turned his attentions towards a goat, for which he had developed "relationship-type feelings," Nelson District Court has heard. George Kepa, 39, appeared for sentencing on charges he had admitted earlier, including trespassing on the property where the goat was kept, stealing the animal and two charges of committing an indecency with it. Defense lawyer Mark Dollimore said Kepa had had a lifetime of tragedy, including a terrible childhood. "He could not communicate and could not trust people, so resorted to self-medication through alcohol and cannabis." Dollimore said Kepa was currently on high doses of anti-psychotic medication, and recent events had been "very embarrassing and sad." He said Kepa had developed relationship-type feelings towards the goat, and had been influenced by others who would get drunk and commit the same offenses on the animal.
NOODLES THE CLOWN CHARGED WITH CHILD PORN
(Florida, AP) - A Sunday school teacher who dressed as Noodles the Clown to entertain children was charged with downloading child pornography from the Internet, officials said. David Deyo, 43, of Jupiter, was charged with possession of child pornography. Federal agents said he also took sexually explicit digital pictures of at least one underage local girl. Additional charges of child pornography possession, production and trafficking are expected to be filed, they said. Deyo was arrested as part of a nationwide crackdown on Internet child pornography called "Operation Candyman."
GERMAN GETS STUCK IN FOLDING SOFA BED
A German was trapped for hours in his folding sofa bed after it sprang shut on him when he tried to get something out of it, police in the western town of Kenzingen said. "Unfortunately, he was so stuck that he couldn't move," a police spokesman said. It was only after he had been knocking and shouting for several hours that neighbors in his apartment block alerted police and he was taken to hospital.
TEACHER MAILED RACCOON HEAD
(Ohio) - A high school band director has been indicted on charges of intimidation and retaliation for allegedly mailing a raccoon head to a school official during a teachers' strike. Police in Cleveland, Ohio claim Donald Sullivan admitted that he mailed the severed head to Maple Heights High School principal Deborah Houchins in the final days of a bitter two-month strike in the Maple Heights district. Sullivan, 51, works in the neighboring Bedford High School, but his wife teaches at an elementary school in Maple Heights. He allegedly said he was angry with Houchins because she let Maple Heights High School's band perform without its director during the strike. Police have said he found the dead raccoon while jogging.
Woman Finds Finger While Walking Dog
WOMAN FINDS FINGER WHILE WALKING DOG
(Minnesota, AP) - An Austin woman made a gruesome discovery while walking her doga human finger. The 22-year-old woman told police they were out walking when she found the finger on a sidewalk. Police took the finger to Austin Medical Center, where emergency room personnel confirmed it was a human finger, and said they had treated a man who had lost a finger in a snow blower accident a few days before. It couldn't be found in the heavy snow at the time. Since surgery had already been performed, the found finger could not be reattached.
NUNS ON THE RUN IN ITALY
(Ananova) - Four nuns are on the run in Italy after a hit-and-run accident in the northern town of Bergamo. The nuns were driving a small Citroen that failed to stop at a stop sign and crashed into a Mercedes driven by a shopkeeper. The 63-year-old trader, who was slightly injured, told police he saw the four nuns accelerate away from the scene. If found, the nuns could face charges of failure to offer assistance. The driver would likely have her driving license suspended, would be handed a hefty fine and could be sentenced to several months in prison. "This is the first case of its kind in 25 years of my career," a local police commander was quoted as saying by the online daily Il Nuovo.
HAIRCUT DEPRESSION NETS WOMAN $6,000
(Missouri, AP) - A jury awarded $6,000 to a woman who sued a hair salon, claiming that bad hair treatment left her depressed and led her to seek early retirement. Geremie Hoff, 56, sued the Elizabeth Arden Salon for emotional distress, depression, counseling and lost income. According to testimony, Hoff went to the salon seeking to have her curly hair straightened. Stylist Reye Hudson, who is still with the salon but was not named in the suit, applied a hair relaxer, then washed and styled Hoff's hair. Hoff testified that clumps of her hair came loose that night, and her resulting bald spots and brittle hair made her depressed and reclusive. Jurors found the stylist negligent. They did not describe how they arrived at the $6,000 figure.
WIFE-SUBDUING AIR RAID SIREN CONFISCATED
(Germany, Reuters) - A 73-year-old man who used an air raid siren to stun his wife into submission has had it confiscated by German police. "My wife never lets me get a word in edgeways," the man identified as Vladimir R. told Mannheim police. "So I crank up the siren and let it rip for a few minutes. It works every time. Afterwards, it's real quiet again." A police spokesman said neighbors had complained about the noise from the 220-volt rooftop device, believed to be an old-fashioned air raid siren. Rosina, Vladimir's wife of 32 years, said she sometimes had to yell to get his attention. "My husband is a stubborn mule so I have to get loud."
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