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We've scoured the globe for real, amusing news. The globe, incidentally, is now squeaky clean, and it's about time.


Not the actual two-nosed child.

GIRL WITH FOUR EYES, TWO MOUTHS AND TWO NOSES BORN IN NEPAL, INDIA
(India) - Hundreds of people have made a pilgrimage to the house of Sitaram Chaudhary in the Saptari district, eastern Nepal, to have a look at a recently born girl child with four eyes, two mouths and two noses. Shamvawati, 24, wife of Chaudhary gave birth to the remarkable child, reported an English daily, Kantipur. As news of the birth of the child spread, people from far and wide rushed to Chaudhary's house to worship her as an incarnation of Goddess Bhagawati. ''The baby girl is in good health and can see with all her four eyes and sucks milk with both mouths,'' said her mother.

MAN PREFERS PRISON TO WIFE
(Italy, Ananova) - An Italian prisoner who was given home leave for good behavior asked to go back to his cell after spending less than a day with his wife. The 40-year-old was given a 72-hour pass by the governor at Vigevano prison, near Pavia in northern Italy. But within minutes of meeting his wife they had an argument and he called the prison asking to be taken back inside. A spokesperson at the jail said, "We got a call from him saying he couldn't stand being with his wife and was it possible to go back to his cell. He said he didn't want to spend another minute with her. It was a very unusual request as we normally get inmates asking when they can leave and not if they can come in. He was told it was not a problem all he had to do was come back and he would go straight to his cell and within an hour he was at the prison gate."

GRASS-EATING HIKERS FALL ILL
(Fujimi, Gunma) - A group of elderly hikers have received treatment for food poisoning after they ate wild grass in a forest, police said. All of the eight men and women afflicted with food poisoning are expected to recover. Seven of the eight required hospitalization, but all should be released in coming days. Police said the group of hikers came across the wild grass and decided to eat it in the belief it was healthy and tasty. However, they soon started complaining of nausea and at least one vomited. They called for help and were assisted in returning to the nearest hospital they could find, where they were treated for food poisoning.

WOMAN RETURNS 94-YEAR-OLD OVERDUE BOOK
(Connecticut, AP) - The book Kelly Woodward recently returned to the Vernon Public Library was overdue by about 94 years. It was due back on May 3, 1909. At the 1909 rate of two cents per day, the late fine would have amounted to more than $685. But the library directors decided to waive the penalty. Woodward said she found the 1904 edition of "100 Choice Selections No. 4" in her parents' attic. The book is a collection of plays, prose, and poetry. Though missing for nearly 94 years, the book won't return to the library shelves. Instead, it's being kept in a display case in the adult department reading room with other library memorabilia and souvenirs from the 20th century.

MAN KILLED AFTER FALLING FROM PICKUP ON FREEWAY
(Houston, Texas) - A man was killed when he fell out of a pickup on the Southwest Freeway in Houston, Texas and was run over by it and other vehicles, police said. The man, identified as William Thayer, 23, was riding in a passenger seat in a Ford pickup when he opened the door to urinate on the freeway while the vehicle was moving at freeway speed, police said.

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Boy Breeds Beetles in His Body
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BOY BREEDS BEETLES IN HIS BODY
(India, Reuters) - A 13-year-old Indian boy has begun producing winged beetles in his urine after hatching the eggs in his body, a senior medical official says. Doctor Chittaranjan Maity, Medical Education Director of West Bengal state where the boy is from, said doctors found the beetles while examining him for pain in the groin area. "Doctors were really surprised to see the beetles," he told Reuters. "There are eggs of the beetle in a fistula in his body and he is getting medical treatment to try to kill the eggs," Maity said. The boy had been taken to a hospital after complaining of pain while urinating. The beetles, more than half a centimeter in length, belong to the Staphylinidae rove beetle family of insects. An expert in urology, Doctor N. Subramanian, said that in theory it was possible for insects to hatch in the body and come out in urine but said he had not heard of such a case.

KARAOKE PROVES DEADLY
(Vietnam, Agence France-Presse) - A Vietnamese man was killed while singing karaoke when he was electrocuted by his microphone, police said. Tran Quoc Du, a 23-year-old taekwondo teacher in the southern province of Binh Thuan, died on the spot when his karaoke microphone short-circuited while he was singing in his home. "His family called an ambulance, but it was too late, he died immediately," a local policeman said.

THAT'S NO BULL
(England, Reuters) - It is not the sort of address most people would want, but a group of English villagers has turned down a proposal to rename a street in their town, Cowshit Lane. The name stirred controversy when the village of Golant in southwest England decided to have a map drawn up for visitors. "I live there and I have no objection to the name," local council chairman Alistair Barr was quoted as saying by The Times newspaper. "Some others have suggested renaming it Cowslip Lane, which I don't agree with." Douglas Cooper, Barr's predecessor as chairman, said, "I only wish I lived there because I could put it on my letterhead."

TEENAGERS ARRESTED FOR PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH HUMAN SKULL
(Honduras, Ananova) - Police in Honduras have arrested three teenagers who were playing football with a human skull. They had painted the skull black and written lyrics from a pop song on it, reports Terra Noticias Populares. Police in Tegucigalpa believe the trio stole the skull from a grave after attending a funeral at the local cemetery. A police spokesman said, "They had no shame in using it to play football." The youths, two 15-year-olds and an 18-year-old, face charges for desecrating a tomb.

NAKED MAN SCARES SHARK TO DEATH
(England, Reuters) - A British comedian could face criminal charges over the death of a "sensitive" shark after he jumped into a tank at an aquarium in the nude, the Daily Telegraph newspaper reported. The 12-year old smooth hound shark, which measured three feet in length, died suddenly two days after Guy Venables jumped into its tank as a publicity stunt at the Brighton Sea Life Center, southern England. "This variety of shark is susceptible to stress. We are very concerned he died as a result of seeing this man jumping into the tank," Sea Life Center's Lisa Handscomb told the newspaper. "The shark is being examined by our biological services team and if it is found that he died from stress, we will prosecute Mister Venables for criminal damage."

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