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You can't spell "news" without "ews." What this means, we have no idea, but this should in no way prevent you from reading more strange news stories.


Not an actual kitten-eating snake.

KITTENS USED AS SNAKE FOOD
(Norway) - Cat lovers in Bergen, Norway, are being warned about snake-owners trawling newspaper ads looking for kittens to feed to their snakes. Animal expert Kees Ekeli estimates there are about 100 illegal snakes in Bergen. According to Ekeli, some snake-owners go to great lengths to get living food for their pets, claiming some get a kick out of feeding live kittens to their snakes. The fear of snakes is so widespread in Bergen that cat-owners specify in newspaper ads that their kittens are not to be fed to snakes. Lene Lotvedt at the Animal Rights Office struggles to find words to describe the thought of feeding living kittens to snakes. "We have already taken actions to stop his. This is extremely inhumane," Lotvedt said.

FLYING UNDERPANTS CAUSE CAR CRASH
(Germany, Reuters) - A pair of flying underpants caused a crash on a German highway after they landed on a driver's face and blocked his view, police have said. A police spokesman in the central town of Gotha, Germany said one of a group of naked men in a van threw the underwear into a Volkswagen Passat as they passed it on a busy stretch of one of Germany's notoriously speedy autobahns. "The underpants landed on the driver's face, causing him to ram the truck ahead from behind," said the spokesman, adding that he did not know why the men were driving along naked. No one was hurt in the crash, but police are hunting the owner of the underpants for failing to stop at the scene.

BRAIN SURGERY PERFORMED WITH STORE DRILL
(Peru, Reuters) - Lacking the proper instruments, a Peruvian doctor at a state hospital in the Andean highlands used a drill and pliers to perform brain surgery on a man who had been injured in a fight. "We have no (neurosurgical) instruments at the hospital. He was dying, so I had no choice but to run to a hardware store to buy a drill and use the pliers that I fix my car with, of course after sterilizing them," Dr. Cesar Venero told Reuters. The patient, Centeno Quispe, 47, had arrived at the hospital in Andahuaylas, 240 miles southeast of Lima, after being hit in the head with a metal object in a street fight, Venero said. "I drilled holes in his skull in a circle, took out the bone with the pliers and removed the clots that were putting pressure on his brain," he said. Andahuaylas is one of the poorest regions of Peru, a country in which more than half its 27 million people live below the poverty line. Venero, who earns $430 a month, said he had used tools from a hardware store on five previous occasions but for less serious operations. Quispe was making a good recovery in a hospital in Peru's capital, Lima.

ELECTROCUTION AFTER PEE NEAR POLE
(Taiwan) - A Thai man with a prosthetic leg was electrocuted when he urinated near a power pole on the side of a highway in Bangkok. The 27-year-old victim's father told police they had stopped their car near a toll booth during a rainstorm, after nature called. Transportation officials told The Nation newspaper that the victim's prosthetic leg could have acted as a strong conductor of electricity at the spot, which was not an authorized parking zone. Thawil Phuengma, dean of engineering at King Mongkut's University of Technology said the man probably urinated on an uncovered ground line near the pole.

AN EJACULATION A DAY MAY KEEP PROSTATE CANCER AT BAY
(Australia, Reuters) - Frequent masturbation may be really good for you. Research by Australia's Cancer Council Victoria found that the more often men ejaculate between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to suffer the disease that kills more than half a million men each year. The survey of 1,079 prostate cancer patients and 1,259 healthy men found that those who masturbated or had sex at least once a day in their 20s were a third less likely to develop the malady. "For men in their 50s of course that's often not achievable," Graham Giles, who led the research team, told Reuters. "But masturbation isn't bad for you. I don't believe in the blindness and hairy palms theory. Prohibitions against ejaculations are not based on science," he said. One theory that could explain the new results is that semen may have a carcinogenic effect on the cells lining the prostatic ducts if not flushed regularly out of the pipes by ejaculations.

HOLDING SEVERED HEAD IN PLACE, HE DEFIED DEATH
(India) - A 28-year-old van driver's head nearly got chopped off in a road accident. Weeks later he is alive, thanks to sheer grit. His head almost severed, blood oozing and eyes popping out, Balram was in a dazed state when the accident took place in Fatehabad, Uttar Pradesh, India. He, however, kept his head attached to his body with some cloth. When no one came to help him, he drove his own vehicle for 20 miles to reach a nursing home in Agra. Doctors there found the head partly joined with the spinal column, something that saved his life. D.V. Sharma, who runs the nursing home, said it was Balram's supreme confidence and presence of mind that must have made him drive without any loss of time. "Had there been some delay, death was a certainty." "Imagine someone walking into the nursing home with his head almost cut off from the neck. The very thought gives shivers," said an attendant who first saw Balram at the nursing home.

CHURCH BUYS OUT ADULT STORE
(Connecticut, AP) - A Connecticut church is the new landlord of Video Pleasures. The Kingdom Life Christian Church in Milford, Connecticut is buying the building that houses the porn shop. Bishop Jay Ramirez says they'll shut down the adult video store. His congregation raised $245,000 to buy the place. Ramirez says that's just the beginning. He says the church will be collecting more money to buy-out other porno shops in the community.

WOMAN DUMPS MAN FOR HIS ONLINE ALTER EGO
(Taiwan) - A Taiwan man who used a different identity through the Internet to double-date his girlfriend, has committed suicide after the girl fell for his email-based alter ego, a Taiwan newspaper reported. Huang Tzu-heng, 20, a shop clerk in Taipei County, began dating his high school class mate Hsiao Lan in the spring, the Apple Daily reported. Hoping to find out if Hsiao Lan really loved him, Huang dated Hsiao Lan on the Internet, posing as "Mr. J" while continuing to date her in real life. As Hsiao Lao did not tell Huang she was dating "Mr. J" on the Internet, Huang became frustrated because he believed lovers should share all their secrets, the report stated. Then one day Hsiao Lan told Huang that she had fallen in love with "Mr. J" and wanted to break up with Huang. Huang killed himself by burning charcoal in his bedroom, leaving two suicide notes, one to his parents and one to Hsiao Lan. In his letter to Hsiao Lan, Huang wrote, "Do you remember your Internet friend? That is me. But I never thought our love would have such an ending."

FUNNY BONE
(England) - Comedian Mark Olver brought a whole new meaning to the phrase "break a leg" when he took to the stage in a Bristol comedy club. Within just 15 seconds of taking hold of the mic at Jesters, his left knee gave way and, as he collapsed in a heap, he broke his ankle. The audience thought it was all part of the act. The 28-year-old comic continued telling jokes as he lay on the floor unable to move and lapsing in and out of consciousness with the pain from his dislocated knee. It was only when paramedics arrived on the scene about 20 minutes later that the audience began to realize the fall hadn't been planned as part of the performance. Olver said, "I was in a lot of pain, but managed to do about 15 minutes of material while on the floor, passing out every now and then because of the pain, and then coming round to do the punchline. I could tell no one believed that I'd really hurt myself, and although it really hurt at the time I can laugh about it now."

BOY WITH ANTS CRAWLING OUT OF HIS EYE BAFFLE DOCTORS
(India) - An 11-year-old boy was admitted to a government hospital for investigation about black ants crawling out of his left eye. A resident of Tahala village, Abu Bakkar, a farmer's son, was first taken to the district headquarters hospital at Suri with his bizarre complaint. The left eye of the boy was swollen and had a reddish appearance. Black ants were emerging at regular intervals, hospital sources said.

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