There is probably a word for the insatiable desire to read stupid news. If you find out what that word is, let us know.
Not the actual hearing aid attacking wasp.
BUZZING HEARING AID STIRS UP WASPS
(England) - An elderly man has described how a swarm of wasps attracted by his buzzing hearing aid attacked him while he was gardening. Ron Packer, 82, said he was stung on his hands after he disturbed a nest in his garden in Stroud, England. He moved about 10 feet away to look at the stings when the wasps swarmed around his hearing aid, stinging him eight more times. "They stung me at the front and back of my hearing aid area and homed in on it," he told reporters. "I was badly stung and was left with a boxer's cauliflower ear. I couldn't wear the hearing aid for a few days or sleep on that side. This is something that should be drawn attention to, so people could turn the hearing aid off if anything like that happened." Packer said he was agile enough to escape from the insects.
FISH DISCOVER PLEASURE IN PORN
(Switzerland) - Fish can be turned on by an aquatic equivalent of pornography, according to new research. Scientists at a Swiss university have discovered that male sticklebacks ejaculate more sperm if first stimulated by a "soft porn" film showing flirting fish. It is thought that the image sparks off a competitive instinct in the spectating sticklebacks to ensure they stand the highest chance of fertilizing their female's eggs. The researchers at the University of Fribourg believe the fish porn simulates conditions in the wild where mating male sticklebacks ejaculate more if they are threatened by other finned Romeos swimming nearby.
HEIGHT OF PLEASURE, BROTHEL OFFERS PLANE SEX
(Chile, Reuters) - Having sex in Chile can take you to new heights. At least that's the claim of local brothel Fiorella, which offers clients a flight over the capital, Santiago, accompanied by two ravishing women. For $500, a client is entitled to an hour-and-a-half session in a small but lavishly decorated aircraft complete with a cooler for fruit and champagne. "We've been offering this service for around a month-and-a-half now. The standard service is for a gentleman accompanied by two of our girls, but we can also accommodate a group session," a woman answering the business' phone line, told Reuters. Fiorella has three light aircraft. The prostitute "flight attendants," as they are called, are between 18 and 26-years-old.
GERMAN POLICE QUELL MASS BARBECUE BRAWL
(Germany, Reuters) - Sixty German police were rushed to douse a quarrel that erupted when a family barbecue overheated into unbridled violence, with the repeated stabbing of one man in the bottom with a skewer. "We needed about an hour and a half to calm things down," said Berlin police spokesman Matthias Prange. Police said the ruckus between some 40 individuals from three families in the capital's central Tiergarten park began when a six-year-old boy was struck in the face with a stick by an unidentified boy. In the ensuing melee, the victim's brother, 19, received multiple wounds to his hindquarters from an assailant's thrusts with a grilling skewer. He was later treated in hospital. Amid the flying fists and hair-pulling, two young women battered a 42-year-old woman on the ground with folding chairs, a man had his leg broken, and two young boys were thrashed with a belt and partially throttled by livid barbecuers, police said.
BOY'S NEW CAMCORDER HAD X-RATED SURPRISE
(Cleveland) - It was a gift with an X-rated surprise inside. An Ohio couple is suing Best Buy over a camcorder they bought for their son. It turns out that the digital camcorder contained videotaped scenes of men engaged in sex. The family has sued for more than $25,000 in damages. The Best Buy chain said it will review the allegations.
A GRAVE MISHAP
(Washington, Reuters) - A 375-pound woman who found herself with one foot in the grave three years ago when she went to pay respects to her late great-grandfather, is now suing a city in Washington state for neglecting its cemetery. Dorothy VerValen says she was using her car keys to scrape moss off the lettering on the tombstone, when the decaying wood coffin collapsed beneath her. Her right foot sank 30 inches into the grave of Harry L. Smith, who died in 1943. VerValen said her left ankle remained on firm ground, but was severely fractured by the fall. Her daughter pulled her out and helped her limp back to her car. VerValen's lawsuit claims that by failing to adequately maintain graves, the city of Sultan, Washington caused her emotional distress and physical injury. "For them to shift the burden of keeping a place safe only for skinny people is very unfair," said VerValen's attorney.
STABBED 14 TIMES OVER A HAIRCUT
(Germany) - It was the hairdo that almost cost a hairdresser her life. Heidelberg hairdresser Luul Jimale thought she had done a reasonable job of trying to redden Farhia Ali Mohamud's jet-black hair last year. But after a weekend of phone insults, the irate customer returned to her shop and stabbed Jimale 14 times. One of the blows punctured the hairdresser's lung and came within an inch of killing her. Mohamud recently pleaded guilty to intentionally causing serious injury and aggravated burglary.
MAN SUES AFTER WAIT FOR DOCTOR
(Las Vegas) - A Las Vegas doctor has learned the hard way that time is money. A man got so fed up waiting three hours to see him that he sued for $5,000. A small claims court awarded him $250. The man said he wanted to teach a lesson about treating patients with respect. The doctor said he's appalled by the ruling and will appeal. The doctor said he overbooked to get the man in before he left on vacation. But he fell behind shuttling between his four offices, and can't be faulted because another patient took longer than expected. The head of the Nevada State Medical Association said the case can be a warning to doctors about patients getting frustrated with long waits.
SEX WHILE SPEEDING DOWN THE HIGHWAY? NO PROBLEM!
(Germany, Reuters) - Having sex while driving down a highway at 60 miles per hour is not an offense in Germany. But if you hit something, make sure you don't run off. A Cologne court fined a man who admitted he was having sex with a blonde hitchhiker sitting astride him when he drove his car into a road sign. But only because he fled the scene of the accident with his naked accomplice. "The man was convicted of hit-and-run and fined," said court spokesman Juergen Mannebeck. "It's hard to believe, but in fact no law was broken with the intercourse on the motorway. It's a situation lawmakers never thought about." The 23-year-old man, who was tracked down through the car's registration, was also ordered to pay to repair the sign. He did not know the name of the woman who left her clothes behind in the car.
CHICKEN TOSSING IRKS FARMER
(Norway) - Police in Norway received one of their oddest calls ever when an irate farmer called to report a drunken couple misbehaving in his poultry yard. The flabbergasted farmer told police a drunken couple had invaded his chicken coop and were throwing his hens up in the air, causing wild panic in his poultry population. "After the couple were finished giving the hens unwanted flights they moved on in the direction of downtown Levanger," an audibly amused officer reported. Police added that the farmer did not see the lighter side of the incident, and was considering pressing charges.
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