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Not the actual wired rooster.
EXPLOSIVE ROOSTER TAUNTS COPS
(New Zealand) - A potentially explosive rooster had New Zealand police running around like headless chickens recently. The bird, which had canisters with protruding wires strapped to its wings, was spotted by a member of the public in the suburb of Sydenham. Police decided to take no chances and herded the bird up an alleyway and called the army bomb disposal squad, Sergeant Ian Freeman said. The chicken was put down, and the contents of the canisters strapped to the body were found to be harmless. "He's gone to the big chookery in the sky, which is unfortunate for him, but we've got to sort these things out," Freeman said. What was evidently a practical joke had swallowed up three hours of police time and led to the army being called out unnecessarily, he said.
JUDGE SAYS NIZZLE-SHIZZLING NOT AN OFFENSE
(London, Reuters) - A judge has ruled that the lyrics of a rap record urging the listener to "shizzle my nizzle" and referring to a "mish mish man" did not constitute an offense. Presiding in the case of U.K. rap artist Andrew Alcee against the Heartless Crew, High Court Judge Lewison ruled that not only were the lyrics not necessarily offensive but that they may as well have been in a foreign language. Alcee is claiming that a remix by Heartless Crew constituted "derogatory treatment" of his copyright because the lyrics contained references to violence and drugs. "This led to the faintly surreal experience of three gentlemen in horsehair wigs examining the meaning of such phrases as 'mish mish man' and 'shizzle my nizzle,'" the judge said. The judge had been unable to establish whether the words in the rap were actually references to violence and drugs. "The most popular definitions were definitions of the phrase 'fo' shizzle my nizzle' and indicated that it meant 'for sure.'" There were apparently no entries for "mish mish man."
DEAD DRIVER GIVEN FINE
(Australia) - A man lay dead in his car while a parking enforcement officer put a parking ticket on his windshield. The man was slumped in the front seat after dying of a suspected drug overdose. The officer thought the driver was asleep and did not try to rouse him. Ambulance officers were called some 40 minutes later. A council spokesman said the incident had distressed the parking officer who had been offered counseling. "The parking officer honestly believed the person in the car was intoxicated and sleeping it off," he said.
TEEN FINED FOR NOT FILING $3 TAX BILL
(Pennsylvania, AP) - When 17-year-old Laurie Hanniford worked as a part-time swim instructor three years ago, she made $316 and paid $3.16 in local taxes. Last month, she was fined $352 for not filing a local tax return. Hanniford, a high school junior, pleaded no contest and got the fine reduced to $77. But the ensuing outrage from her parents and the parents of about two dozen teens that received the same treatment has prompted officials to consider softening the ordinance. "It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of to fine her, she was 14 at the time, for taxes that have already been paid," said the teenager's mother, Sarah Hanniford. When Laurie read the certified letter containing the words "failure to comply will result in your arrest," she called home from the post office. "She couldn't drive, she was crying so hard," her mother said.
NOISY CHILDREN SAVE GRANDMA'S LIFE
(Pennsylvania) - An Indiana woman traveling through Pennsylvania climbed into the back seat of the family car to quiet her noisy grandchildren. Patsy Harvey had no sooner changed her seat when a falling log from a tractor trailer crashed through the passenger-side window, right where she had been sitting. It was a good thing she moved. The log weighed about 1,000 pounds. No other cars were hit by about a dozen logs that tumbled onto the highway from a nearby ramp.
BAG OF CHIPS CONTAINS MORE THAN MUNCHIES
(Iowa) - A woman bought a bag of potato chips at a convenience store but discovered more than munchies in the bag. Lois Campbell, 42, of Des Moines, opened the small sack of Uncle Ray's garlic-flavored chips and found another bag inside. "We were eating a few of the chips, and I was about to give some to a three-year-old child," Campbell said. "I thought it was a little bag of seasoning inside. When I saw what it was, I called the police." A police report said the contents of the heat-sealed bag smelled like marijuana. The leafy substance was seized as evidence. The store where Campbell bought the snacks has taken the rest of the Uncle Ray's chips off its shelves.
MAN QUIZZED AFTER SPENDING WEEK WITH FEMALE CORPSE
(Japan) - A man was being interrogated by police for apparently spending over a week in an apartment with the dead body of its resident, police said. The body of the tenant, a 35-year-old unemployed woman, was found collapsed under a table in her apartment by police officers. They then found a 39-year-old male acquaintance of the woman sleeping in another room. "I got a call from her saying she had to speak to me in person," the man, whose name is being withheld, reportedly told police. "When I went to her room later that day she was already dead. I didn't know what to do so I stayed there with her." An autopsy will be performed on the woman's corpse to determine the cause of her death.
MAN CLAPS 721 TIMES IN 60 SECONDS
(South Dakota) - A South Dakota man has the fastest hands in the west, literally. Kent French is now in the "Guinness Book of World Records" for the most hand claps in a minute. French clapped 721 times in 60 seconds.
TOE TRANSPLANT HELPS MAN TO FISH
(Wales) - An angler has had two of his toes transplanted onto his hand so he can continue to fish. Colin Thomas, 58, lost eight fingers when both his hands were caught in a roller at a steel plant. He feared his fishing days were over because he could not hold a rod, nor could he reel in his catch without fingers. But surgeons came to the rescue in a highly technical, 13-hour operation to take a toe from each foot to transplant onto his right hand. "I just love the sport, but it is impossible without fingers. The toe transplant means I can be out there with my rod again. I never dreamed surgeons could do something like this," he said. Colin now goes fishing almost every day. "People stare at me but I've gotten used to that, and I always joke that I'm the only man who can pick his nose with his toes!" he said.
MALAYSIA SAYS DON'T COOK, WASH IN TOILETS
(Malaysia, AP) - Officials in a southern Malaysian state will soon enforce a new law that forbids people to wash clothes, cook or light a fire in public toilets, a news report said. The law will allow fines of up to $263 for anyone deemed to have abused restroom facilities, said Low Boon Hong, a government official. Offenses under the law include failing to flush, vandalism, spitting and littering, as well as more irregular behavior in toilets such as bathing, cooking, washing clothes and lighting fires.
PERVERT CAUGHT HAVING SEX WITH PIG
A man was caught in the act of having sex with a pig by a passerby who spotted him abusing the animal at an inner-city farm. Police arrived within 10 minutes of receiving a call and arrested the 72-year-old, who was naked from the waist down. Lynne Bennett, manager of Stepping Stones Farm in Stepney, East London, said the man appeared to have deliberately targeted their most passive pig. She added, "If he'd picked on one of the others, he would have been in serious trouble. They would have done him some damage." A vet gave the pig a clean bill of health.
NORWEGIAN JAILED FOR CORPSE STUNT
A Norwegian man who broke into a church mortuary and chopped off the head of a corpse in order to display it during a party was jailed for two years, officials said. Under the influence of both drink and cannabis, the 26-year-old broke into a chapel with three friends as they were holding a party near the southeastern town of Skien. Initially looking for valuables to steal, the group had noticed several coffins awaiting burial, and had proceeded to break open four of them. The young man who received the sentence of two years with one suspended had hacked off the head of one of the corpses with a knife. He then stuffed the head into a plastic bag and took it to display at the "heavy metal" rock music party he was attending.
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