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Read on, intrepid seeker of stupid news stories.


Not the actual tire selling guy.

MAN CHARGED WITH OFFERING WOMAN TIRES FOR SEX
(Georgia, AP) - An employee of a tire dealership in Athens, Georgia has been arrested on charges that he offered tires to a woman in exchange for sex. Athens-Clarke County police say 42-year-old Gregory Wade Mulligan of Maysville was charged with solicitation of prostitution and pandering. Police say the 25-year-old Athens woman decided not to buy the tires from Mulligan at Tires Plus because she thought they were too expensive. She told police that Mulligan telephoned her later to say he would give her the tires if she would meet him at a motel and have sex with him.

MAN DIES AT HIS OWN WAKE
(Argentina) - Doctors in Argentina say a 94-year-old man died at his own wake. They say Carlos Gonzales Valencia was wrongly certified dead at a clinic in Ramos Majia. His daughter, a nurse, noticed he still had a pulse after his "body" was taken home for his wake. But by the time emergency services arrived, Valencia had died for real. An emergency doctor said, "This man died while at his own wake. He was seen by a doctor and the funeral people but no one realized he was still alive, that is really incredible." Now the family is suing the clinic.

BELLY-LAUGH JOKE GOES BELLY-UP IN TURKEY
(Turkey, AFP) - A Turkish man was hospitalized with torn intestines after a friend, attempting a practical joke, pressed an air compressor to his backside. The 48-year-old, a worker at an aluminum factory in the central town of Seydisehir, asked a co-worker to clean off the dust from his back with an air compressor, but the colleague instead pressed the device to his anus. The victim underwent surgery, while his colleague was taken into police custody, Anatolia news agency reported.

MAN JAILED FOR STARTING FIRE TO AVOID SEX
(Croatia) - A man who tried to set fire to his home to avoid having sex with his wife has been jailed for two years. Svetin Gulisija, 26, from Seget in Croatia admitted starting a fire in the woods just behind his house because he was too tired for sex with his wife. The couple had to be evacuated as firefighters tried to bring the blaze under control.

TEXAS WOMAN FINDS EYEBALL IN MAILBOX
(Texas) - A woman in San Antonio made a bizarre discovery when she went to get her mail. When the woman opened her mailbox outside her home, she found a paper bag—with an eyeball inside it. Police took the body part into evidence and turned it over to the Bexar County Medical Examiner's Office to determine if the eyeball belonged to a human or an animal.

GIANT DINO FECES EXCITES RESEARCHERS
(Canada) - A team of Canadian and American scientists have identified a fossil found in southeastern Alberta as the world's largest dinosaur "dropping." The finding strips the title from a similar T-rex fossil found in Saskatchewan in 1995, the Ottawa Citizen reported. The 75-million-year-old fossilized feces, called a coprolite, is about the size of a kitchen stove.

TWO STAGE CHAINSAW ACCIDENT IN INSURANCE SCAM
(Germany, Reuters) - A German court convicted two men of staging a chainsaw accident in which one of them cut off the other's thumb and forefinger to claim $44,780 in insurance money, authorities said. "One man held onto a cutting board and the other sawed his fingers off," presiding judge Juergen Treu said at the court in the town of Wuerzburg. The 58-year-old landscape gardener then threw away the fingers and claimed money from two different insurers. Police later uncovered the ruse after receiving an anonymous tip-off. "One of the men had been blabbing about it," Treu said. The court gave the eight-fingered gardener a probationary sentence of one-and-a-half-years, while his chainsaw-wielding accomplice, a 28-year-old trucker, received a jail sentence of the same length because of a previous criminal record.

GERMAN BAR OFFERS DAY CARE FOR MEN
(Germany) - A German bar is offering women who want to go shopping without their partners the chance to park them at what it bills as the country's first kindergarten for men. For $11.80, the Nox Bar in downtown Hamburg is offering boys' games and home-improvement coaching as well as a meal and two beers for men left there for a Saturday afternoon, while women are free to shop in the city's swanky boutiques. So far, the "Maennergarten" has been a hit, with 20 men dumped there the first week, bar manager Alexander Stein said.

GENITALS CUT OVER DEBTS
(Tanzania) - A Tanzanian man has cut off his genitals in an attempt to win sympathy from his creditors. The 24-year-old took the extreme step after squandering their money on prostitutes and alcohol, according to reports. He panicked upon realizing he could not pay back millions of shillings lent to him by friends and relatives to invest in a business venture. The Guardian said the man's condition was improving after he received treatment at his local hospital in the east African country's northern Manyara region. It was the second such incident in the area in two months.

GERMANS FALL FOR PORNO KARAOKE
(Germany, Agence France-Presse) - Germans are screaming, moaning, and panting for the latest nightlife craze: porno karaoke. Film producers Satt and Durstig organized a premiere in Berlin last month after a successful test run in the northern city of Hamburg, and the trend has already spawned imitators in other major cities. Porno karaoke is similar to traditional karaoke, but instead of standing in for Whitney Houston or Frank Sinatra, contestants belt out the soundtracks of adult movie stars. Players pair off in male-female teams as an X-rated film is loaded into the projector. With the sound turned off, each duo is handed two microphones, and has one minute to provide the aural fireworks for the action on the screen. The crowd, which tends to find the show more comic than erotic, then chooses the couple that has given the most convincing, creative, and ecstatic performance of faking an orgasm before hundreds of strangers.

WHAT'S IN A NAME?
(England, Reuters) - A couple has been forced to move out of their house because of the shame caused by the name of their street—Butt Hole Road. Paul and Lisa Allott sold their bungalow in Conisbrough, England after living there for just 15 months, fed up with the constant leg-pulling. Taxis and pizza delivery men would fail to turn up, thinking their order was just a prank, and they grew tired with groups of youths posing for photos by the nearby street sign with their buttocks bared. "I like a laugh, but it was beyond a joke," Allott told the Sun newspaper.

MUSHROOM PICKER FINDS LEG
(Japan) - A man picking mushrooms in a forest area stumbled upon a leg sticking out of the ground, leading to the discovery of a dead body, police said. "I've found a human leg," the mushroom picker said when he alerted police. Officers arriving on the scene dug up the area to find the body of a dead person. Authorities have yet to determine the age and gender of the body.

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