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Not the actual ill-fated mates.

MAN MARRIES DOG FOR LUCK, THEN DIES
(Nepal) - A 75-year-old man in Nepal married a dog in a local custom to ensure good luck only to die three days later, a newspaper reported. With his son and other relatives by his side, Phulram Chaudhary tied the knot with a dog in Durgauli village in the southwestern Kailali district. He was following a custom of his Tharu community which holds that an old man who regrows teeth must take a dog as a bride. "He believed that this would help him avoid great misfortune later in life. However, he died a few days afterward," the state-run daily newspaper said.

SCHOOLBOYS TOOK VIAGRA AT LUNCH
(England, Reuters) - Six British schoolboys were rushed to the hospital after taking the erection-enhancing drug Viagra at lunchtime for a dare, the school said. Paramedics were called after a fellow student told teachers about the 13-year-olds' prank, a spokesperson for Forest School in Winnersh, in southern England, said. The local education authority said they think the student took the pills from home and brought them to the all-boys school where he shared them with five friends. The school has a "no drugs" policy and the students are likely to face punishment, especially the student who brought the pills into school. The Sun newspaper quoted a source at the school as saying, "By the time the afternoon lessons began, there was no hiding what they had done." Paramedics took the six squirming boys to the nearby Royal Berkshire Hospital, where they were monitored until the effects wore off.

PUMPKIN WIELDED IN ASSAULT
(Massachusetts) - A pumpkin is being held as evidence by police after the potential pie filling was allegedly used during an recent assault. Beth Boucher has been scheduled for an arraignment in Northern Berkshire District Court after being arrested and charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, the pumpkin. Boucher also was charged with one count of domestic assault and battery after allegedly going to the home of John F. Bryant on Manning Street, cursing at him and slapping him. Police said Bryant told them that after being slapped, he turned to enter his home and Boucher allegedly retrieved a pumpkin from an outdoor stairway and hurled it at him. The pumpkin allegedly struck Bryant in the lower back and caused bruising and swelling. Police Sgt. Kyle Johnson said the "weapon" has been secured in a police locker, where it will remain until Boucher's case is resolved.

TWO SLAIN OVER ELECTRIC BILL
(New York) - A Brooklyn man enraged over a high electric bill killed his roommate and her 11-year-old daughter, police said. "I did something bad," Albert Clarke, 41, said after he turned himself in to cops in Manhattan. "Apparently, the electrical bill was too high," a police source said. The bloodshed erupted in the kitchen of the East New York apartment Clarke shared with the 43-year-old woman, cops said. Another neighbor in the three-story building said he was stunned to learn that Clarke, a chatty tenant who worked as a welder, was accused of the double murder. "He doesn't seem like the type," said the man. "He's very easygoing. He would spend time talking about current affairs."

EGYPT AIR PLANE DELAYED AFTER PILOT REFUSES FAT LADY AS PASSENGER
(Egypt, AFP) - An Egypt Air pilot refused to take off because he said one of the plane's passengers was too fat. The pilot feared the flight to Dubai would trigger medical problems in the female passenger, whose identity and weight were not disclosed. The woman's daughter, who was with her on the plane, demanded a doctor be called in, an airport source said, adding that an airport physician confirmed the woman was in good health and could fly without risk. The pilot continued to protest, to the rage of many passengers, five of whom canceled their flights. He was eventually obliged to take off after a three hour delay, the hapless woman still on board.

TRAFFIC CHAOS AS HEARSE EJECTS CORPSE
(Germany, Reuters) - A hearse overturned on a German motorway, shattering the coffin and ejecting the corpse onto the tarmac along with a bag of coffin nails that brought traffic to a standstill, authorities said. "The driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and yanked the steering wheel around when he woke up," said Jens O'Brien, spokesman for the regional government in Duesseldorf. "There were nails strewn over 160 feet and the corpse fell out onto the ground." The motorway was closed for an hour and there was a four-mile back-up as police collected the coffin nails and took the corpse away. The undertaker was slightly hurt.

ROBOT DOG BREAKS WIND AND SETS OFF SCARE
(Virginia) - A robot dog that "breaks wind" set off a security scare at the Norfolk, Virginia, airport, it was reported. Security officials jumped on high alert when the toy's wind-breaking mechanism registered as a high explosive on sensitive monitoring equipment, the BBC reported. Dave Rogerson, 31, of England, told the BBC he watched incredulously as FBI agents took a series of swabs from the mechanical toy's rear end. The toy was eventually returned to him, but Rogerson was not allowed to take his planned flight and had to take an alternative route to North Carolina. "There's no humor at American check-ins and for about 20 minutes I was quite scared," he told the BBC. "They were very jumpy and convinced there was something explosive in the dog." Rogerson, however, maintained his sense of humor and said he decided to name his toy Norfolk.

MAGIC WOODEN PENIS SAVES WOMAN
(Thailand) - An abbot's "magic" wooden penis has been credited with restoring a woman to health in Thailand. Ladda Satiya, 66, was lent the carved phallus by an abbot at the Thepprasart Temple in Pattaya after falling ill from eating poisonous mushrooms. Satiya called the abbot, Pra Boonsong, when the mushrooms made her feel dizzy and out of breath. He gave it to her brother and suggested she swallowed a mixture of rice and water ground up by the penis. Satiya said it was like eating pepper and her symptoms disappeared soon afterwards. Speaking to the Pattaya Mail, the abbot said he had cast a spell on the phallus. He said the "magic" wood is able to heal people poisoned by toxic substances and prevent the bearer being affected by black magic. But he refused to reveal the source of the penis wood for fear of forest devastation.

JAPANESE EXPERTS DEVELOP FRAGRANCED BRA FOR SMOKERS
Intimate apparel maker Triumph International, Ltd. announced it has developed a fragranced bra which it claims will help women who smoke to quit. A tiny, hidden capsule sited near the cleavage will release fragrances such as lavender and jasmine, smells its makers say will lower the wearer's desire for a cigarette.

FEDEX WORKERS FIND HUMAN BODY PARTS IN BOXES
(Missouri) - A startling discovery was made by FedEx workers in St. Louis. They found two human legs and an arm inside three boxes, station KMBC reported. Workers opened the boxes when one of them started leaking. Kirkwood police said the boxes were on their way from Las Vegas to a suburban St. Louis man who provides doctors with body parts for research. The packages were too damaged to be delivered, so the man had to come pick them up. Because the limbs were shipped across state lines, the FBI and other state agencies got involved. Authorities found the limbs were from a legitimate business and had paperwork to prove they were disease-free.

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