See those words down there? Yeah, right down there. Those are words that are working together to give you more strange news!
Not the actual testicleless bull.
MEN FINED FOR REMOVING BULL'S TESTICLES
(Australia) - Four men have been fined $300 each in the Rockhampton Magistrates Court for removing testicles from a bull statue in the beef capital. Police charged the men, all in their 20s, with willful damage after they found the testicles in their car. Prosecutors say the men said they had taken the property for a bit of fun and had returned to the airport to replace them. Rockhampton City Council's Tom Wyatt says the city's bull statues are repeatedly subject to vandalism and ratepayers foot the bill. "The vandals think it's quite a joke but when you talk about taking those testes off the structure, they not only destroy the testes, they destroy the substructure as well of the statues and sometimes that's a costly exercise to repair," he said.
POLICE FREE GERMAN BONDAGE PENGUIN
(German) - A German bondage fetishist got so chained up he had to call police to remove his cuffs after he was reduced to waddling around helplessly like a "penguin." Officers sent to his rescue told him he should use a specialized establishment rather than practice at home. Police received no answer from the house until the man appeared at a window and flung out the door keys with his teeth. On entering, they were confronted by the sight of a heavily-chained man shuffling towards them on his knees with his head bowed, dressed only in shiny black leather and white socks. "To visualize the appearance of the afflicted party, one would have to imagine a penguin of waist-height waddling with slightly protruding wings," Aachen police said in a statement. "We thought it was a joke at first," the spokesman said. "But the chains were bound so tight with handcuffs he could hardly move anything apart from his head." Police released the man using their own handcuff keys.
MAN CAUGHT FRYING HUMAN BRAIN
(England) - London police have discovered a man allegedly frying a human brain for a meal, according to a British tabloid newspaper. The newspaper reported the man killed his victim in a savage attack before dismembering the body and cooking parts of it on a stove. Police were summoned to the "blood spattered apartment" by neighbors calling about a "terrible attack." The suspect, Peter Bryan, whose address was given as a psychiatric ward in an east London hospital, appeared in court on a charge of murder. Only hours earlier Bryan had reportedly had been released from the mental home. The victim, was also believed to have received psychiatric treatment. While officially not commenting on the claims of cannibalism, senior police have reportedly not ruled it out as a motive.
A GOOD WAY TO LOSE SUBSCRIBERS
(England, Reuters) - A hiking magazine apologized after it published a route plan that would have sent walkers striding into thin air off the north face of Britain's largest mountain, Ben Nevis. The magazine, Trail, left out a vital bearing needed to guide climbers off the summit of the Scottish mountain in bad weather. Anyone who followed the magazine's directions would have plunged down a sheer cliff into nearby Gardyloo Gully.
POLICE FOIL BANK ROBBERY BY DRUNK DRACULA
(German, Reuters) - German police say they have arrested a would-be vampire robber ready to scare bank staff with his false Dracula teeth. The man, also wearing a woolen hat and sunglasses, pulled out what looked like a gun and pointed it at passing police officers who had asked him to stop as he approached a bank. "The two officers managed to overpower him and found it was a toy weapon," police in the northern city of Bremen said in a statement. "The suspect lost his plastic teeth in the scuffle. He was extremely drunk."
DOCTOR BRINGS CADAVER ARM FOR SHOW AND TELL
(Pennsylvania) - A Pennsylvania school board may be looking to revise its policies on show-and-tell in class. A parent brought the arm of a human cadaver to school in Fox Chapel, then opened it up during a discussion about surgery. A fifth-grader fainted. Dr. Michael Horowitz, a neurosurgeon who has a child in the school, performed the demonstration. Some parents complained and officials in the district near Pittsburgh promised a review. Horowitz, who showed students the location of nerves and other parts of the arm, said he was surprised by the complaints. He's done similar lectures at the school with eyes, ears and a brain and no one's ever complained before.
DIVERS PROBED FOR GIVING FISH CHAMPAGNE
(Poland, Reuters) - Three Polish divers faced a police investigation for possible illegal fishing and animal abuse after a news photo showed them plying a freshly caught pike with champagne at an outdoor party. "They may have committed offenses of poaching and maltreating a fish," said Maria Niedziolka of the National Fishing Authority, which notified police of the incident. The picture in Nowa Trybuna daily showed three frogmen neck-deep in a lake, with one of them tipping a bottle of cheap Russian bubbly into the fish's open mouth. One of the divers told news agency PAP that they had found the pike half-dead and wanted to "restore it to consciousness by treating it with champagne." It was not clear whether the fish survived. Police said it would not be needed as evidence in the investigation.
POLICE OFFERED MONEY TO GROW MUSTACHES
(India, Reuters) - Police in northern India are being paid an extra 30 rupees a month to grow a mustache to give them more authority, a newspaper has reported. Mayank Jain, a superintendent with the Madhya Pradesh state police, told The Asian Age that research showed that police with mustaches were taken more seriously. However, he added, the shape and style of police mustaches would be monitored to ensure they did not take on a mean look.
MAN KILLED SNAKE WITH NAIL CLIPPERS
(Zambia) - A 24-year-old Zambian man saved himself from being crushed to death by a python by killing it with a pair of nail clippers. Morgan Mulenga, from Mkushi, was attacked by the snake as he relieved himself behind a bush on his way home from selling fish in local villages. The python coiled itself around his waist but Mulenga's left arm was free and he managed to get his nail clippers out of his pocket. He stabbed the snake with the clippers until it was dead and then ran to the nearest village for help. Mulenga was taken to a local hospital where he was treated for serious internal injuries.
POLICE IMPERSONATOR PULLS OVER TROOPER
(New York, AP) - Mistake number one: Impersonating a police officer. Mistake number two: Making a traffic stop. Mistake number three: Stopping an off-duty state trooper. Shalom Gelbman, 22, of New Square, New York, made all three mistakes, state police said. Gelbman, with a strobe light on his dashboard and his high beams flashing, pulled a car over on the Palisades Interstate Parkway, police said. Inside the car was state Trooper Seamus Lyons, who arrested Gelbman. It was clear to Lyons that Gelbman wasn't a colleague, authorities said, because of his license plate number and the equipment he had in his car. Gelbman was charged with reckless endangerment and criminal impersonation, police said, and was cited for having unauthorized equipment in his car, a dark blue Mercury Grand Marquis with tinted windows. Gelbman was also ticketed for driving without a registration or insurance. He was released on $5,000 bail after being arraigned.
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