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If it's strange, and it's news, you'll either find it here or somewhere else. Do we know how to cover our bases, or what?


Not the actual handcuffed girlfriend.

SLEEPY LOVER CHARGED OVER GIRLFRIEND'S HANDCUFF GAFFE
New York police have arrested a man who left his girlfriend handcuffed to a bed for eight hours while he slept. The 37-year-old said he handcuffed the woman to the bed as a prelude to kinky sex. He said he'd been drinking and passed out before freeing her. The New York Post says when she finally woke him, he undid one cuff before falling asleep again. She couldn't wake him for a second time so she called police who've charged him with unlawful imprisonment. The woman claims she didn't consent to being handcuffed in the first place.

IMPOTENT MAN CHOPS OFF PENIS IN PUBLIC
A Thai man suffering from impotence has chopped off his penis with a meat cleaver. Bangkok police say the 49-year-old asked his doctor to arrange an amputation because of his impotence. The doctor advised Jaruwat Techawachayanun to seek help for the condition at another clinic. He refused. Witnesses say they saw him rest his penis on a stone and chop it off. He then threw it in a bin. A witness picked it out, packed it in ice and phoned police. Officers took him to hospital. It is not known if it can be reattached.

WOMEN THOUGHT VIBRATOR WAS A BOMB
(South Africa) - A group of South African women searching through a dump for recyclable goods thought a vibrator was a bomb. The women, who had never seen a vibrator before, were at the Hermanus rubbish dump in South Africa's Western Cape. They heard a ticking noise coming from a bag and alerted the dump's manger, Adolf Hansen, fearing there'd be an explosion. He said, "I heard a sort of a ticking sound. I didn't really want to touch it because I thought it's possible it could be a bomb." Hansen said he decided to open the bag containing the item and recognized it as a vibrator, because he said he'd seen them "more than once" before. He told the women there was no danger of the vibrator exploding. The women said they didn't want it for recycling.

SEX WITH LOCK DANGEROUS
(Russia) - A 20-year-old man from Moscow will have marks on his penis for the rest of his life as a reminder of his sexual games with a barn lock. Doctors say that the penis of the young man will remain curved forever. It took a Moscow rescue crew about an hour to remove the man's penis from a barn lock with which he attempted to copulate. The rescuers went above and beyond to preserve sexual functions of the unlucky "lover." They cooled the man's penis with cold water. However, the lock's clutch was so strong rescuers had to use a saw.

COFFIN ALARMS FOR THE DEAD
(Chile) - A cemetery in Chile has begun building coffins with a built-in alarm just in case the person inside has been buried alive. The special caskets will have buttons that can be activated if the supposedly dead person wakes up. Humberto Becerra, of the Way to Canaan cemetery, said the buttons would set off an alarm bell at the cemetery office and would work even if the coffin was buried four feet deep.

MAN HAS ARTIFICIAL ARM PULLED OFF IN FIGHT
(New Zealand) - A Hastings man is appealing for the return of his prosthetic arm which was recently stolen during a scuffle in the city. Senior Sergeant Greg Bradshaw said a skirmish broke out in Market Street between two people. One of the combatants had a prosthetic arm which was torn loose in the scuffle. Instead of leaving it behind, the second man then ran off with it. Police inquiries into the incident are continuing and the arm has not been recovered. It was understood the man who lost the arm had been making inquiries through his own associates and contacts. "He'd like it back," Bradshaw said.

MAN BITES DOG TO DEATH
(Hong Kong) - A man has bitten a dog to death in eastern China after it attacked him as he walked home with friends after a night out, a news report said. The man, who was drunk, pounced on the dog when it nipped him on the fingers and cheek in Shanghai. He repeatedly bit it until it died, according to the South China Morning Post.

NUDE DISCIPLINE BRINGS ARREST
(Virginia) - A Fredericksburg, Virginia woman's choice of discipline got her into trouble when neighbors complained about her naked son. The mother was charged with felony child neglect after police found her 12-year-old son raking leaves in the buff, city police spokesman Jim Shelhorse said. Temperatures had dipped into the high 40s, the wind was whipping and a cold rain had started to fall, police said. A neighbor in the Mayfield subdivision called 911 to report seeing the boy raking leaves in the front yard without clothes, Shelhorse said. When an officer arrived, the boy was still there with the rake in his hands. The child told officers his mother was punishing him for misbehaving in school, Shelhorse said. Police said the boy wasn't hurt and was not removed from the home. The mother, however, was handcuffed and taken to the police station for booking. The mother faces up to five years in prison if convicted.

MAN LOSES HOME OVER BODY ODOR
(Boston) - The Boston Housing Authority told Jack Martin to move recently after neighbors complained that his body odor was offensive and the smell infested the building. "You live in a house and you take it for granted, when it's suddenly taken away from you it makes you feel very downhearted, at least it does me," Martin said. Not all neighbors agreed that Martin should have been told to leave. "They kind of kicked him to the curb, that's just not what you're supposed to do," neighbor Judy Flashner said. If Martin cleans up, he will be allowed back into the multi-apartment building, according to the report.

DUTCH ARTIST MAKES GUN FROM HER OWN SKIN
(Amsterdam) - Dutch artist Joanneke Meester has put more than her personal feelings into her latest piece to protest at rising violence in society. She used her own skin to make a tiny gun. A surgeon friend scraped a 20 centimetre section of skin from Meester's abdomen under local anesthetic to provide the raw materials for the work of art. Meester then used the skin to cover plastic bars to make a three-by-six centimetre pistol. Describing the consistency as "rubbery and cold," the 38-year-old Amsterdam artist maintains she had no choice but to use her own skin for the gun. "Otherwise it would lose its expressiveness," she told a newspaper. It is easy to shoot someone, she said, "until you realize it is skin that is being pierced." She said the artwork underlined her "concern at the rising level of violence in society." The "skin gun" will be on public display at the Kunstvlaai art fair.

TAMALE CHEF KILLS FRIEND, COOKS HIM
(Mexico) - A Mexican cook killed his drinking buddy, cut up his body and boiled him in herbs, according to police who fear he may have been turning him into tamales. Prosecutors said they had arrested Carlos Machuca, a tamale-maker, at his home in the western city of Morelia, after receiving an anonymous phone tip. Officers found a man's mutilated corpse in the living room and body parts simmering in aluminum saucepans on the patio, state prosecutors reported. "We saw the flesh and the tamales, and our first impression was that he was making tamales with the flesh of the deceased, although it has yet to be confirmed," Lorena Cortes, a spokeswoman for Michoacan state prosecutors, said. But she said that Machuca may just have been trying to dispose of the body. Police say he stabbed the man through the heart in a fight after they had drunk together.

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