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Oh, like you were really going to do anything productive for the next hour or two. Read on! It's more strange news.


Not an actual pampered Chinese pig.

PIGS SOOTHED BEFORE SLAUGHTER
A slaughterhouse in China is giving pigs showers, saunas and massages before chopping them up. Light music is played as the pigs are pampered before being electrocuted. The manager of the slaughterhouse in Mianyang, Sichuan province, said he decided to give the pigs a final treat because he wanted their deaths to be as humane as possible. Guo Xianfeng told the Tianfu Morning Post the pigs fell asleep after the sauna and massage and felt no pain when they were electrocuted.

MAN USED GIRLS' CAMERAS TO TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS GENITALS
(Colorado) - Boulder, Colorado police want to find a man who gained access to rooms at the Broker Inn during a recent cheerleader camp and used cameras belonging to some participants to take photos of his genitals resting on the girls' personal items. The camp was held earlier this month, but the girls didn't find out what happened until they had the photos developed recently. They were shocked to find photographs of the man's genitals sitting on their drinking cups, bottles and food. In all, police believe the man used at least five cameras in several rooms to take pictures of himself while the girls were at the cheerleader camp.

NEW MAMMAL DISCOVERED, AND EATEN
(Brazil) - A new species of mammal has been discovered in South America but was promptly converted into roast pork and eaten by Brazilian villagers, the German natural-science cinematographer Lothar Frenz said. The animal was the fourth known species of Peccary, a piglike mammal. Resembling a wild pig, the Peccary has dark, coarse hair and a large head with a circular snout and small ears. A report appeared in the newspaper Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung quoting Frenz that he saw the first discovered giant Peccary struggling valiantly before villagers killed it, flayed it and roasted it on a spit. Frenz said he abstained from trying the meat, but collected some of the remains for a genetic study.

WONDER AS 1,000-YEAR-OLD PADDED BRA DUG UP
(Hong Kong) - Archaeologists have dug up a thousand-year-old padded bra in Inner Mongolia, China, a news report said recently. The gold-colored bra was found in tomb in the province's Aohan region, according to the South China Morning Post. Archeologist Shao Guotian said the bra dated back to China's Liao dynasty and described it as made of fine silk with shoulder and back straps. "It is just like brassieres of today," he said. "It's a pity most of the cotton padding in the cups has already decayed."

POULTRY FARMER RECEIVES SETTLEMENT FROM POLICE
(China) - A Chinese chicken farmer is receiving a settlement from police after a malfunctioning squad car siren went off and scared 435 of his birds to death. A court ordered the police to compensate the rancher in Huxian, Shaanxi province for the 35 fowl who died immediately following the siren's call, but said the noise couldn't be blamed for the 400 who kicked the bucket from shock later on, reports the Procuratorate Daily.

MAN RIPS OFF TESTICLES BECAUSE OF SNAKE IN PANTS
(Trinidad) - A man who frequently roamed the streets of Claxton Bay, Trinidad walked into a local police station and threatened the officers on duty. He then jumped over the counter and started acting violently, police said. The officers arrested the man and locked him in a cell. Moments later, police said, they heard him shouting that a snake was in his pants. A woman officer, who went to check on him, found him bleeding from the groin area. When she investigated, she found that the man was holding his testicles in his hands. He was taken to a hospital in a police vehicle, where he underwent emergency surgery.

MAN COMMITS SUICIDE AFTER SEX WITH HEN
(Zanbia) - A 50-year-old Zambian man has hanged himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen, police said. The woman caught him in the act when she rushed into their house to investigate a noise. "He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape," a police spokesman said. The man from the town of Chongwe, about 30 miles east of Lusaka, killed himself after being admonished by other villagers. The hen was slaughtered after the incident.

MAN DIVORCES AND SUES WIFE OVER UGLY PAST
A Chinese man has divorced and sued his wife for $30,000 after discovering she'd had plastic surgery before they met. Jian Feng, 38, was said to have been "horrified" when she gave birth to an ugly baby daughter. He suspected her of having an affair. His wife then confessed to having plastic surgery costing $38,000 in South Korea before they met and showed him a picture of how she used to look. He filed for divorce two years after marrying her following a whirlwind romance. The Heilongjiang Morning Post said Jian successfully sued for deceit.

DANE CONSIDERS PORN FRINGE BENEFIT
An information technology company in Nordjylland, Denmark has introduced a novel program to keep employees satisfied. After examining well-known trends in Internet and business traffic, LL Media decided it would be sensible and appreciated to offer all of its employees free subscriptions to Internet pornography. The company's director, Levi Nielsen, believes that access to porn is a natural fringe benefit, like a free phone or a company car. "We know that 80 percent of all hits on the Internet are on porn sites. And we can see that people also surf porn pages during work," Nielsen told local TV. In return for this service, the company blocks all access to porn pages during office hours. Nielsen hopes that the expense of about $5 per head per week will make his staff more relaxed and more efficient on the job.

MAN ARRESTED AFTER MOTEL ROOM IS COATED IN VASELINE
(New York, AP) - A man is accused of applying Vaseline petroleum jelly to every surface in his room at a Motel Six near Binghamton, New York. After Roger Chamberlain checked out, the cleaning crew discovered mattresses and bedding were slathered with the slippery stuff. Vaseline covered the TV set, furniture, carpeting and towels, and everything else in the room. Police found 14 empty Vaseline containers and numerous pornographic magazines in the room's trash can. Damage to the motel room and its contents was estimated at over $1,000. A sheriff's deputy found the Virginia man a short time later at another motel. The deputy said the man was "smeared from head to foot with Vaseline." Chamberlain was sent to jail after being charged with felony criminal mischief. The motel manager says the room still can't be used.

GYMNAST'S SKILLS SAVE HIM IN FOURTH-FLOOR FALL
(Slovenia, Reuters) - A British junior gymnastics team member fell from the fourth floor of a Slovenian hotel, but suffered only a broken ankle after putting his gymnastics skills into practice, the Slovenian press reported recently. "Probably my gymnastic knowledge and experience saved me," a newspaper quoted 17-year-old Steven Jehu as saying. "There was a big window that could be opened. I leaned out over a metal bar, but the bar suddenly broke. I couldn't do anything. I fell," Jehu said. The gymnast did a somersault while falling from the window, which was more than 33 feet from the ground, and braced himself for a regular gymnastic landing.

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