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We love this stuff. Really. We wake up and are thrilled when some loon does something incredibly weird. We absolutely love it. Almost as much as joy buzzers and those fake ice cubes with flies in them. Almost.


Not one of the actual gloved cocks.

STATE SENATOR WANTS COCKFIGHTS, WITH GLOVES
(Oklahoma, Reuters) - An Oklahoma senator hopes to revive cockfighting in the state by putting tiny boxing gloves on the roosters instead of razors. The Oklahoma legislature outlawed the blood sport in 2002 because of its cruelty to the roosters, which are slashed and pecked to death while human spectators bet on the outcome. But State Sen. Frank Shurden, a Democrat from Henryetta and a long-time defender of cockfighting, said the ban had wiped out a $100 million business. To try to revive it, he has proposed that roosters wear little boxing gloves attached to their spurs, as well as lightweight, chicken-sized vests configured with electronic sensors to record hits and help keep score. "It's like the fencing that you see on the Olympics, you know, where they have little balls on the ends of the swords and the fencers wear vests," said Shurden. "That's the same application that would be applied to the roosters." Janet Halliburton, president of the Oklahoma Coalition Against Cockfighting, said Shurden is really seeking to loosen the ban.

WOMAN ACCUSED OF GIVING LETHAL SHERRY ENEMA
(Texas, Reuters) - A Texas woman has been indicted for criminally negligent homicide for causing her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, a police detective said. Tammy Jean Warner, 42, gave Michael Warner two large bottles of sherry which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas, police detective Robert Turner in Lake Jackson, Texas. "We're not talking about little bottles here," Turner said. "These were at least 1.5-liter bottles." Warner, 58, was said to have an alcohol problem and received the wine enema because a throat ailment left him unable to drink the sherry. "I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I've ever heard of someone actually doing it," said Turner, who led the lengthy investigation in the case. The woman admitted administering the enema, but denied causing her husband's death. Along with negligent homicide, Mrs. Warner was indicted for burning her husband's will a month before his death. Both charges carry maximum penalties of two years in prison.

DOG DRIVES TRUCK INTO AUTO PARTS STORE
(Arkansas, AP) - Michael Henson left the auto parts store with more problems than when he arrived. For that, he can thank his dog. Henson, whose truck had a sticking throttle, brought his dog along for company when he drove to O'Reilly Auto Parts store in Springdale. "He'd left the truck running, I guess to show the people at O'Reilly's, and the dog jumped over and knocked the truck into gear," Springdale police Sgt. Billy Turnbough said. The truck raced into the building, stunning Henson and clerk Josh Hopper. "The guy said he was standing there, looked up, and saw his dog driving his truck through the building," Turnbough said. Hopper said he heard the crash and looked up from the transaction. "His truck was in the window," Hopper said. "Everybody was fine. His front left tire just made it onto the brick wall." No one was hurt and no humans or animals were cited, police said.

DO NOT GIVE THIS MAN BATTERIES
(British Columbia, Reuters) - Police are on the hunt for a thief who made off with three "male appendages" from a Vancouver-area sex-toy store. Authorities suspect the thief may now be looking for batteries. A clerk discovered the man stuffing the fake body parts into his clothes and asked "if he was going to need batteries for these three objects," the Royal Canadian Mounted Police said. "The male calmly stated 'no' and then panicked and fled, running out of the store with the three objects, minus batteries," the police statement said.

THE COP WITHOUT A CLUE
(Sweden, Reuters) - A Swedish police officer has confessed he robbed a bank and later investigated the crime himself, telling reporters at the time police had no clues. A court in the central town of Bollnas officially charged the 36-year-old for the armed robbery, court documents said, adding he had pleaded guilty. The amount of money stolen was not disclosed but was described as sizeable. An hour after the crime, the police officer returned to the bank as a leading police investigator handling the case. Colleagues became suspicious when he bought a new car soon after the crime, paying $31,400 in cash using banknotes from the robbery, the court said.

MOM CHARGED IN SEX, DRUG PARTIES
(Colorado, AP) - A 40-year-old woman held sex and drug parties with teenage boys, telling police she wanted to be a "cool mom," authorities say. Sylvia Johnson allegedly provided marijuana, methamphetamine and alcohol to eight boys at parties she hosted at her suburban Denver home. According to court papers, she admitted having sex with five of the boys. One of the boys told his mother and Johnson was arrested and charged with offenses including sexual assault and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. According to court papers, Johnson told investigators she was not popular in high school and had finally started "feeling like one of the group." "She described herself as a 'cool mom,'" police said. Authorities did not say how many children she has or whether any of them were at the parties.

HE STOLE HER PIZZA, NOT HER HEART
(Delaware) - New Castle County police say that after two men robbed a pizza deliverywoman, one of them called the victim on his cell phone to apologize, and to ask her out on a date. The victim, 18, declined the request. Instead, she gave the cell phone number to police, who arrested Brent Brown, 25. Through a photo line-up, the victim also identified Brown as one of the robbers. Besides Brown, police also arrested an 18-year-old man and were looking for a 16-year-old linked to the crime. Officers searched a residence and found the pizza boxes in the trash can with the original receipt still attached. "It would make a perfect story for the television show, The World's Dumbest Criminals," said county police spokesman Trinidad Navarro. Brown was charged with second-degree robbery. "I'm innocent," he said. "I work every day. I have no reason to rob the pizza lady."

THAT GIRL'S A BIT FISHY
Scientists have found the first example of a male that wins a mate by cross-dressing. Male giant Australian cuttlefish outnumber females by four to one, so the females are picky. To compete, males hide their fourth arms, a male characteristic, and change color to copy the females' mottled skin. Then they trick their way past the female's partner and often succeed in mating with her. The only problem is that other dominant males sometimes get frisky with them. U.S. scientists in Massachusetts said, "We found female mimickers could successfully deceive the consort male."

NOISY LOVEMAKING NO CAUSE FOR EVICTION
(Sweden, AP) - Noisy lovemaking is no cause for eviction,so long as it's done in the daytime, a Swedish landlord said. The Tunabyggen housing company in Borlaenge, northwest of Stockholm, made the decision after the neighbors of one amorous couple complained about their afternoon delights. But the company, which runs the block of apartments, said lovemaking is part of normal family life and not grounds for eviction. Indeed, it's the law. Under the Swedish Housing Act, neighbors are not to be disturbed by loud noises, be it music, television or love making in the evening. But that law also guarantees the right of tenants to a normal family life, too. Tunabyggen's marketing director Lena Lundberg said the complaint about the lovemaking was akin to that of a family with noisy children whose crying could disturb the neighbors. The complaint was thrown out, she added, because the noise wasn't at night. "It's comparable with babies having colic," she said, adding that a family with a crying baby couldn't be evicted.

SHEEP'S BRAIN FOUND IN SCHOOL CAFETERIA DRESSING
(New York) - A piece of sheep's brain from an anatomy class at a high school near Binghamton, New York, was taken out of the class and put in some salad dressing in the school cafeteria, according to officials. Police are investigating the food-tampering incident at Vestal High School. School officials said a student found the piece of brain at the bottom of a container of dressing at the salad bar. Students used some of the dressing before the material was discovered, but officials say there's no evidence anyone ate any of the preserved brain matter, and no one has reported getting sick. Parents were sent a letter informing them about the incident.

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