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See, there's news. Then, there's strange news. This is the latter.


Not the actual dog that received a subpoena.

PROSECUTORS SUBPOENA DOG IN MURDER CASE
(Arkansas, AP) - Prosecutors hoping for a witness in a murder case to roll over were barking up the wrong tree. They sent out subpoenas for anyone who had contact with Albert K. Smith while he was jailed awaiting his murder trial. One of those subpoenas went out to five-year-old Murphy Smith, Smith's dog, it turned out. The defendant had written his dog a letter from his cell, and that is how the shih tzu's name got on the witness list. Prosecutors realized the mistake after the defendant's brother brought in Murphy to answer the subpoena and a deputy would not let them into the courthouse because no dogs were allowed. Prosecutor Robin Green said she apologized to the brother for any inconvenience, and added, "The dog was friendly enough and probably would have been a very cooperative witness."

DOCTORS REMOVE WEDDING RING FROM PENIS
(Romania) - Romanian doctors have removed a man's wedding ring from his penis. The patient, who is married and has two children, told doctors he had a one-night stand with another woman. He couldn't say how the ring got onto his penis, but suspected the mistress wanted to embarrass him because he fell asleep during sex. Doctors said the man, from Rovinari, whose name was not revealed, will recover after the incident. They said it was not the first time they had to save people from embarrassing situations. In another case, a man came to hospital with his penis stuck in a cola bottle. "He looked like a very respectable person. We managed to remove the bottle without harming his sexual organ," a urologist told reporters.

CAT ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS OWNER IN IRON COUNTY HOME
(Michigan) - An Upper Peninsula man is in the hospital after he was accidentally shot by his cat. State troopers in Iron County showed up at Joseph Stanton's home in Bates Township last night to find him wounded in the lower torso. The 29-year-old man was cooking when his cat knocked a loaded nine-millimeter handgun off the counter. The gun discharged and a bullet struck Stanton. Stanton was taken to a county hospital for treatment.

JAPANESE SIBLINGS LIVE WITH DEAD PARENT
(Tokyo, AP) - Police recently questioned three siblings after it was discovered they had been living with the decomposed corpse of their father for nearly a decade, an official said. Police found the body of Kyujiro Kanaoka lying on a futon bed at the family's home in Itami city in western Japan. Kanaoka's three elderly children, all in their 70s, or older, told police they thought their father was still alive but that one of them recently had consulted a relative about the possibility that he might be dead. Police are investigating the cause of Kanaoka's death. Judging from the condition of his decomposed body, Kanaoka may have died as long as 10 years ago, the spokesman said.

MAN ACCUSED OF HAVING RELATIONS WITH COWS
(Wisconsin, AP) - A 63-year-old man is charged with sexual gratification with an animal for allegedly having sex with calves. Harold Hart allegedly told police he routinely stopped at a Greenwood farm, usually after bar closing or on trips to strip clubs. A criminal complaint said the farm's owners installed a motion detector after regularly seeing footprints and vehicle tracks on their land. Around 4 a.m. the next morning, a sensor sounded and Hart was caught leaving the barn, but Hart allegedly said he just used a bathroom in the barn and had never been there before. Hart told police he had sex with heifers before he went into the service in 1963 and resumed about a year ago at the farm. He admitted to using a rope to tie calves around the neck and estimated he had been to the farm "at least 50 times," according to the complaint. He told police he never had sex with animals while maintaining a relationship with his a girlfriend or his wife.

600 THAI COPS FAIL TRAFFIC LAW TEST
(Thailand, AP) - More than 600 policemen in the capital of Thailand have temporarily lost the right to issue tickets to motorists after failing a test on traffic law, a senior police officer said. The police department last month tested 4,475 officers on their knowledge of traffic law, and almost one in seven failed to show adequate knowledge, said Maj. Gen. Montree Jamroon, a deputy commander of the Metropolitan Police Bureau. "A total of 665, accounting for about 14 percent of the traffic policemen in Bangkok, failed the test on traffic law and they will not be allowed to issue tickets until they pass," he said. Bangkok drivers have long complained about the seemingly arbitrary enforcement of traffic laws.

LAMPPOST REVENGE: DOG KILLED
(France) - A dog was electrocuted in France when it urinated on a lamppost with a loose connection, officials in the town said. The three-year old Argentinian mastiff named Pako was being walked by its owner in Wavrechain-sous-Denain in northern France. It let out a yelp and died on the spot. The owner received a shock when he tried to help the dog and was taken to hospital, the town hall said. A spokesman for the local electricity board said the streetlight had been vandalized and a live wire was in contact with the metal pole.

SEX GAMES END WITH TOOTHBRUSH IN MAN'S RECTUM
(Russia) - The operating center of the Moscow rescue service recently received a strange, albeit a very funny call. A 25-year-old Muscovite called and said his girlfriend had pushed an electric toothbrush up his anus. The toothbrush was turned on during the process, the young man specified. An operator said the man was reluctant to talk about such an intimate occurrence. His voice was trembling when the operator asked him for details. Apparently, the young man was having a session of sex games with his girlfriend. It suddenly occurred to the girl to use a vibrating electric toothbrush in order to experience a different kind of pleasure. The enterprising lovers decided to turn the toothbrush on, and the girl carefully forced it inside the man's rectum. It just so happened that the toothbrush slipped out of the girl's hands because of abundant lubricant that she had applied on the "vibrator." The dental-care device made its way down the rectum on its own, and it soon became impossible to take the toothbrush out.

BANK HEIST FITS HIM TO A TEE
(Long Island) - A goofball bank robber, sporting a T-shirt that read "Trust me, I'm a professional," threatened a Long Island teller before scooting off with a bag of cash, Suffolk cops said. The "professional" crook entered Suffolk County National Bank in Medford with a plastic bag and ordered the teller to fill it, police said. The teller emptied her drawer and the robber fled.

CHEST HAIR INSURANCE AVAILABLE
(London, AP) - It was one of the more unusual requests insurance underwriter Jonathan Thomas had received: Could he please draw up a policy to protect an unnamed star against the loss of his chest hair? Ever the professional, Thomas and his team of experts at London's Creechurch Underwriting got down to work, compiling a four-page document which details every possible eventuality. The policy is only valid for "accidental bodily injury" and has a lengthy list of exclusions. If the star was to be left with a bald torso through war, revolution, radioactive contamination or terrorism, sorry, no pay-out.

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