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One of the most enjoyable forms of entertainment is ridiculing the suffering of others. Many of these stories involve just that. Read on.


Not the actual crook pelter.

WOMAN PELTS ROBBERY SUSPECT WITH BANANAS
(North Dakota, AP) - Crystal Senger stopped at a convenience store to buy pop and cigarettes, and she saw the clerk being choked in a robbery attempt. She ran to call for help. Then she started throwing bananas. Senger, 19, said she grew up playing organized baseball, and used those skills to pelt the suspect in the head with every banana she threw, from about 10 feet away. "I was seven-for-seven," Senger said. "They were green bananas, not the ripe mushy ones, so they hurt." Senger said the suspect, whom police said was intoxicated, was stunned from getting hit by the flying fruit. A 17-year-old was arrested after he bolted from the Devils Lake store and tripped over a piece of wood, after a short foot chase.

WOMAN MARRIES CLAY POT
(England) - An Indian bride was married off to a pot by her relatives after her groom failed to turn up for the ceremony. Savita took her vows with a clay pot when her fiancé Chaman Singh, a police officer, got stranded on the border because of heavy snowfall. Savita from Jaunsar Babar agreed to go through with the wedding to the clay pot. A photograph of the groom was reportedly placed behind the pot.

HARVARD ECONOMICS PROF CHARGED IN MANURE CASE
(Boston, Reuters) - A Harvard professor who specializes in environmental economics was arrested on suspicion of trying to steal a load of manure from a Massachusetts farm. Professor Martin Weitzman was arrested near the town of Rockport. Philip Casey, who manages a horse stable at the farm, had called police after finding Weitzman and his truck on the farm and stopped him from leaving, Marino said. The Harvard academic was charged with trespassing, larceny, and malicious destruction of property because the truck left marks on the farm. "He seemed a little befuddled standing there with a truck bed full of manure," Marino said. Weitzman then offered to pay for the manure on his truck, he said. Weitzman, whose research interests listed on a Harvard Web site include the economics of biodiversity and global warming, did not return calls seeking comment. Casey told the Gloucester Daily Times that manure thefts had been a long-standing problem.

WOMAN BREASTFEEDING TIGER CUBS IN MYANMAR
(Burma, AFP) - A lactating woman in Myanmar has volunteered to breastfeed a pair of endangered Bengal tiger cubs recently born at a Yangon zoo and separated from their aggressive mother. The two-week-old cubs, a male and a female, were taken from their mother after she killed the third cub in her litter, prompting veterinarians to engage in alternative childcare. Hla Htay, 40, a relative of a Yangon Zoological Gardens staffer and a mother of three including a seven-month-old baby, stepped in when she learned the cubs needed breast milk to survive. "I felt sorry for them so I decided to feed them before their teeth grow," she told the newspaper. Veterinarian Kyaw Myo Hlaing said they were being bottle-fed along with Hla Htay's half-hour breastfeeding sessions four times a day.

BETHLEHEM MAN PICKS THE WRONG PLACE TO GO
A 42-year-old Bethlehem man found possibly the worst place to relieve himself when he showered the window of the Bethlehem police commissioner's office at City Hall. Bruce Waterman told an officer who caught him in the act that he did not know he was urinating on Commissioner Francis Donchez's office window. Waterman said, "I just had to go really bad." Police later searched Waterman and found a marijuana pipe on him. He was charged with disorderly conduct and possession of drug paraphernalia and will receive a court summons by mail. Donchez was not in the office at the time.

PARISIANS LEFT OUT IN THE COLD
(France) - Two skiers spent the night on a ski-lift in freezing temperatures after staff switched the machinery off and went home, police said. The two Parisian men, aged 26 and 36, were discovered on the ski-lift the next morning, as the ski resort re-opened, and were transported to hospital suffering from hypothermia. Authorities at the ski station, accusing ski-lift staff of lack of vigilance, have opened an inquiry into the incident.

WOMAN WALKING DOG HAS POOP BAG SNATCHED
(San Diego, AP) - Police in San Diego are searching for a gunman who swiped a bag of poop from a woman out walking her dog. The woman told police that she was out walking her dog, Misty, when a man in his 20s ran up behind her and grabbed the bag she was holding. When the gunman discovered what was in it, he threw it down in disgust, pointed his gun at the 32-year-old woman and demanded money, San Diego police detective Gary Hassen said. He then aimed his .22-caliber semiautomatic at Misty and pulled the trigger twice but the gun didn't fire, Hassen said. The robber ran to a waiting car and fled the scene, police said.

PENIS PROBLEM EARNS INMATE HIS FREEDOM
(West Bohemia) - A Czech prisoner serving time for theft has been freed and allowed to go back home to his wife after getting a permanent erection. The 37-year-old man was serving a six-month sentence in Plzen jail, and woke wardens in the early hours of the morning complaining he had an erection that would not go away. He told staff it was extremely painful and after prison doctors called to examine the erect member were unable to help, the man had to be taken to a specialist hospital in Prague, where surgeons were forced to operate to treat the problem. They said the man had been suffering from a rare condition known as priapismus, in which blood becomes trapped in the penis during an erection and can only be treated through immediate surgery. After surgery, however, the man was allowed to go home, where medical experts said he would be better off being cared for by his wife than in the prison hospital.

SEX DOLL SPARKS BOMB ALERT AT POST OFFICE
(Germany, Reuters) - A blow-up sex doll sparked a bomb alert in a German post office after it started to vibrate inside a package awaiting delivery, police said. "Workers were unsettled when it began vibrating and made strange noises," a spokesman said. "They were worried the package might be a bomb." Officers brought the sender to the scene and discovered the source of alarm was an electrical device inside a life-size female sex doll. The man told police he had wanted to return the doll because it kept turning itself on at the wrong moment. Order was restored after the sender removed the doll's batteries so the defective product could be returned.

SMOKING OUTLAWED IN "MARLBORO COUNTRY"
(Montana) - Montana, which has served as Marlboro Country in magazine ads depicting rugged cowboys puffing on cigarettes while riding a fence line, is about to outlaw smoking just about everywhere but the great outdoors. The state Legislature voted to ban smoking in all enclosed public places, including bars and restaurants. The Senate approved the measure 40-10. It passed the House last month. Montana will become one of just 10 states to ban smoking on such a widespread scale. Over the years, Madison Avenue has used Montana as a backdrop in some of the Marlboro Man cigarette ads. "Smoking is just plain stupid," said Republican Sen. Joe Balyeat. "But if this Legislature decided to outlaw stupidity, I think two-thirds of us would be behind bars. I just don't think we can legislate against stupidity."

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