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Hey, don't look now, but we have MORE strange news. In fact, we have a virtually limitless supply, as well as a virtually limitless capacity to exaggerate.


Not the actual possessed lizard.

MOTHER HOLDS FUNERAL FOR POSSESSED LIZARD
(Thailand) - Jamlong Taengnian organized a funeral for a lizard she believed was possessed by her deceased 12-year-old son's spirit. Mourners gathered at Taengnian's home for the farewell to Yui, the lizard. "I am so sad, it's like losing my son a second time," Taengnian told Thai press. The reptile had been adopted by the family, fed milk and yogurt, Taengnian's son's favorite food. The lizard even slept in the dead boy's bed. Yui was a local celebrity of sorts. Hundreds had made pilgrimages to visit the lizard, because it was thought it would bring them good luck. Press accounts do not mention the cause of the lizard's death.

SEMEN MOISTURIZER BIG IN MEXICO
(Mexico) - A face moisturizer made out of semen has been launched in Mexico. Porn star Lyn May, who is in her sixties, is behind the company producing the cream. May swears that the Semen moisturizer is capable of erasing wrinkles and leaves skin soft. She told Las Ultimas Noticias, "I select attractive young man and pay them for their semen that is mixed with honey and oats to create the moisturizer."

COKE ARRESTED ON CHARGE OF POSSESSING $8 MILLION WORTH
(Michigan, AP) - A woman identified by authorities as Denise Coke was arrested after a drug-sniffing dog discovered 33 pounds of cocaine in her vehicle. Roseville police, acting on a tip, gave Michigan State Police the description of a vehicle allegedly containing drugs. Coke, 25, of Detroit was arrested after being pulled over for speeding on Interstate 696. Coke was arraigned on a charge of possession with intent to deliver more than 1,000 grams of cocaine, punishable by up to life in prison upon conviction. A judge set her bond at $1 million.

BURRITO CAUSES GUN SCARE AT SCHOOL
(New Mexico) - It wasn't a gun that caused police to lock down Marshall Junior High School in Clovis, New Mexico. It was a burrito. Police locked the school down after a citizen saw a student walking into school with a long, skinny object wrapped in a white cloth. He thought it was a gun and called police. Officers searched for the student while the school was on lock-down. But the student came forward first, admitting he had what they were looking for—a two-and-a-half-foot-long burrito. The student had taken the burrito, wrapped in foil and a white cloth, to present in a culinary career class. It was loaded, with meat and beans. Police called the incident a good exercise for all of the officers who responded to the school. One observer joked that with the right combination of ingredients, the burrito could have been a deadly weapon.

MAN SUES LOVER AFTER SEX CHANGE HITCH
(India, Reuters) - An Indian who became a man to marry a female relative was dumped after the surgery, a newspaper reported. Twenty-nine-year-old rubber tapper Kuttiyamma, born with both male and female genitals, had been in love with the relative, Laura, 25, for 15 years before having surgery to become a man and change her name to Binu. But Laura became engaged to another man and Binu is suing her for breach of trust after spending 50,000 rupees ($1,150) on the sex change. "She had agreed to marry me after the surgery," said Binu. "I took loans to pay the hospital bills." Laura's fiancé has since backed out of the wedding after hearing of Binu.

ARMED ROBBERY OF SALON INVOLVES DISSATISFIED CUSTOMER
(Washington) - According to police, a "bad haircut" has landed a Richland woman in jail. Police say 48-year-old Julie Anderson was arrested for robbing her hair stylist at gunpoint then firing shots into the stylist's car. Police say Anderson walked into the Stage 1 hair salon in Richland around 11 a.m., demanding to speak to a stylist who had worked on her hair. When told the stylist wasn't in yet, police say Anderson waited for and confronted the hairdresser in the parking lot pulling out a gun and demanding 100 dollars. Police say she was given an undisclosed amount of money and then opened fire in the parking lot before she left firing two shots into the back window of the stylist's car. Anderson was later arrested as she walked out of "The Talk of the Town" hair salon. Police say she was there getting another haircut. "The specific details of someone dissatisfied with the level of service, coming back, and actually taking it out on a service providers vehicle, that's extremely unusual, yes," said Captain Mike Cobb of the Richland Police Department. Police say Anderson will be charged with 1st degree robbery and 2nd degree malicious mischief.

BURGLARS ACCIDENTALLY CALL COPS BEFORE BREAK-IN
(Tennessee, AP) - Hawkins County authorities, in Tennessee, say they got a telephone tip that a burglary was about to come down. It came from the would-be burglars. The 911 center in Rogersville got a call during which dispatchers could hear two men talking and details emerged about a plan to burglarize a unit at the Clayton mobile home dealership. Because it was April Fool's Day, police thought it might be a prank, but four deputies staked out the dealership. When the men came out of a mobile home with a refrigerator, police descended on them, sending them running. One was caught in a nearby creek, the other in a thicket. Police arrested 29-year-old Jason Anthony Arnold and 38-year-old James Keith Benton. Sheriff's Detective Eve Jackson says Arnold's cell phone was in his jeans pocket and the numeral "9" got accidentally pushed and held, automatically dialing 911. Dispatchers heard everything they said from then on. Police found the cell phone in the creek.

EXOTIC DANCER INJURED INSIDE FIRE STATION
(Texas) - A 19-year-old exotic dancer was injured while sliding on a fire pole at a fire station in San Antonia, Texas. Sources said that three off-duty San Antonio Fire Department firefighters visited a gentlemen's club when two dancers followed the trio to Fire Station No. 10 because the women wanted to slide down the fire pole. One of the dancers injured her back but refused treatment from paramedics, sources said. Officials are investigating.

TRACTOR DRIVER SUFFOCATES UNDER PILE OF MANURE
(Czech Republic, Reuters) - A Czech tractor driver died under eight tons of manure in a bizarre accident that has baffled his employers. The 34-year-old man suffocated after the load fell on him while he was dumping it in a field near the western Czech city of Karlovy Vary. "It absolutely beats me how this could happen," said Vladimir Erps, chief of the company employing the victim. "The truck is operated from the tractor cabin, using hydraulics. There was nothing for him to do under the truck, but it's tough to blame him now that he is dead," Erps said.

DOG LOVER UP ON CHARGES
(Brussels, Reuters) - A Belgian man on trial for having sex with dogs claims he did it out of compassion for man's best friend, a Belgian paper reports. Daily Gazet Van Antwerpen said the 36-year-old in the eastern Belgian town of Genk told the court he had sex with dogs "out of love for animals," since a lot of them can't have sex, especially those locked up in shelters. The man could face six months in jail if convicted. The man, who previously worked in an animal shelter, had also posted thousands of pictures on the Internet of himself having sex with dogs.

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