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Not the actual idiotic license plate.

MAN WITH "TIPSY" PLATE FACES DUI CHARGES
(Minnesota, AP) - Having a vanity license plate that reads "TIPSY" may not be such a great idea after all. Josiah Johnson, 23, said his license plate might have tipped off the Clay County sheriff's deputy who pulled him over after he left Coach's Sports Pub in Moorhead, Minnesota. The man now faces third-degree drunken driving charges after his blood-alcohol level allegedly registered twice the legal limit. Johnson said he bought the personalized license plate for his Jeep to describe the way it rode, then kept it as a joke when he got a Chevy Silverado because he likes to party. "It doesn't mean I drink and drive," he said. "It just means I have a good time." Johnson said he'll never drink and drive again. "I feel really stupid," he said.

UPSKIRT SUBWAY CAMERA CAUSES BOMB SCARE
(New York) - A small digital camera, apparently planted by an unidentified voyeur to shoot up passing skirts, caused a brief bomb scare near a Manhattan subway station, police said. A pedestrian called police to report seeing a box with wires sticking out of it under a subway grate in a sidewalk on the Upper East Side. The block was closed off while the police bomb squad investigated. The scare ended when officers discovered that the device was a digital camera. Police said they believe someone positioned the camera to record so-called "upskirt" images of women in dresses and skirts as they strolled over the grate. Investigators found no evidence that the hidden camera had taken or transmitted any of the photos, which are featured on various Web sites.

CATS USE FAX AS TOILET, SPARK JAPAN HOUSE FIRE
(Japan, Reuters) - Two kittens picked the wrong place to relieve themselves when they urinated on a fax machine, sparking a fire that extensively damaged their Japanese owner's house. Investigators in the western city of Kobe have concluded that the recent fire was caused by a spark generated when the urine soaked the machine's electrical printing mechanism. The fire damaged the kitchen and living room before it was put out by the house's owner, who was treated for mild smoke inhalation, said Masahito Oyabu, a fireman at the Nagata fire station in central Kobe. The kittens quickly ran to safety, he added. "If you have a cat, or a dog for that matter, be careful where they urinate," Oyabu said. "Especially keep them away from electrical appliances and wires."

ITALIAN COURT SAYS GAY MAN CAN DRIVE
(Italy) - A Sicilian court has condemned road authorities for suspending the driving license of a man after finding out he was gay. The court on the Mediterranean island said being gay was merely "a personality disturbance" which had no bearing on a person's ability to drive, Ansa news agency reported. The 23-year-old man, who was identified as Danilo G., got into trouble with the road license authorities in the city of Catania after they discovered he had been exempted from military service because he was gay. The authorities suspended his driving license ahead of further checks on his "suitability" to take the wheel. The man's lawyer, Giuseppe Lipera, denounced the move as "utterly scandalous and offensive" and has demanded 500,000 euros in damages. "Danilo is deeply perturbed by what has happened. He has lost his hair and is suffering shock," Lipera was quoted as saying by Ansa. In a written ruling released on Monday, the Sicilian court said, "It is clear that sexual preferences do not in any way influence a person's ability to drive motor cars safely." The judges added that homosexuality "cannot be considered a true and proper psychiatric illness, being a mere personality disturbance."

MOM CRASHES CAR INTO SON LEAVING HOSPITAL
(New Hampshire, AP) - A man on his way out of the hospital ended up back inside after his mother hit him with her car when she came to pick him up. The accident happened as Lillian Carter, 84, was heading to the entrance of Elliot Hospital to get her son, police said. Ron Carter, 49, was walking to meet her when the car sped up, struck him and then crashed into a concrete pillar. Both were admitted to the hospital, with Ron Carter suffering from serious injuries.

RACEHORSE DIES AFTER BEING STRUCK BY LIGHTNING
(New Zealand) - A six-year-old racehorse named Rain, Hail or Shine died in its paddock recently after being struck by lightning, its trainer said. Ralph Manning, who trained the horse, said he found the horse dead after a thunderstorm. "I've never heard of it happening before," he said. "But it must have hit us pretty hard. The electric fencing had melted against the wall." Waterhouse, a horse which shared the paddock with Rain, Hail or Shine, was unscathed and celebrated its good fortune by running second at a North Island race later that day.

MAN DIGS UP CORPSE AND COOKS THE BODY PARTS
(China) - A Chinese man has been sentenced to two-and-a-half years in prison for digging up a woman's corpse and eating her ears, nose and breasts, authorities said. Gui Jiachun was convicted of defiling a corpse by a court in Shitai County, in the eastern province of Anhui, reports said. The court ruled that GUI should be imprisoned instead of being taken to a hospital for mental illness because he was capable of controlling his actions. GUI took an axe and a razor to the cemetery the same day that a fellow villager was buried after dying from an illness.

MAN CAUGHT WITH FAKE PENIS ALLEGEDLY TRIES AGAIN
(Florida) - A man arrested in possession of a fake penis and bladder used to beat court-ordered drug tests was arrested again after allegedly showing up at the probation office with another fake penis, and deputies say the color was a little off. Thompson's ordeal started when he was stopped for reckless driving in the Deep Creek area of Charlotte County, Florida. Deputies arrested Thompson for drug possession. A search of his car yielded the fake penis and bladder attached to an elastic belt. Thompson told them the contraption was used to pass urine tests that are part of his probation. After that arrest, Thompson's probation officer summoned him to submit another urine sample. The officer says Thompson became nervous as he began to undo the zipper on his shorts. Thompson was ordered to turn around as he pulled out the fake penis with the bladder attached. Since Thompson's original fake penis was confiscated after the first arrest, He had gone to get another system, known as the "Whizzinator." Charlotte County deputies said Thompson could find no "Whizzinators" matching his skin color and had to settle for a black version of the device. Thompson was told he was in violation of his parole for trying to use a device to alter a drug test.

CHIPS FOUND IN PLACE OF WOMAN'S ASHES
(Texas) - Two daughters have sued a synagogue after they found a potato chip can in place of their mother's remains behind the locked, glass door of her niche in a mausoleum. When the women visited Vivian Shulman Lieberman's niche in a Houston mausoleum a year ago, they found the cedar chest containing her ashes missing and a can of sour-cream-and-onion potato chips in its place. The ashes are still missing, said Philip Hilder, an attorney for Lieberman's two daughters. "We have been devastated," Marcelle Lieberman said. "We hope we will be able to find her remains before we die, to give us closure of some sort." Marcelle Lieberman and her sister, Harriet Lieberman Mellow, filed the lawsuit recently against Congregation Beth Israel and two funeral businesses. Officials with the synagogue and the two companies deny responsibility.

MAYOR SAYS "STOP PESTERING ME FOR SEX"
(Romania) - A mayor who set up a direct hotline for people to call with civic problems is asking bored housewives to stop inviting him round for sex. Cristian Anghel, mayor of Baia Mare in Romania, claims he had more than a hundred calls in one week from women declaring their love for him. He said many come straight out and even invite him over for sex, a local paper reported. Mayor Anghel said, "The number was meant for complaints but some women took it as a sex hotline. I hear declarations of love and some have even made erotic proposals to me. I can understand these ladies have desires, but their kind of problems need to be solved somewhere else, not at the Town Hall."

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