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Still more goofy news. Thankfully, there seems to be an endless supply.


Not the actual dog.

DOG BRINGS LIVE GRENADE BACK TO MASTER
(England) - A dog that chased a stick thrown by her owner came back with a live grenade in her mouth. Shadow found the explosive device on a riverbank beside the River Wye in Hampton Bishop, Hereford, England. Owner Gordon Husband eased the device from her mouth before carrying it gently 1.5 miles to his home. He called Army bomb experts who arrived to blow up the grenade. The spot where Gordon's dog found the item is four miles from an abandoned training base, says The Sun. Gordon said, "I knew what it was because I'd seen them during my time in the service. But I thought it might have been a training grenade and not live. I was quite surprised by the bang it made." Gordon added, "Shadow is always coming back from the river with stuff—but usually just rubber balls.

SEX BIAS IN STRIPPING EXPOSED
(Norway) - Norway's gender equality watchdog is investigating complaints that tax authorities have discriminated against female strippers by charging a higher ticket tax than for men. Norwegian law defines female strippers as "entertainers" while male strippers pay a lower tax rate because they are considered "artists." "It seems like they are doing the same job," Kristin Mile said. Mile said she received a complaint from a Norwegian booking agent, Magnus Morland, that the all-male, U.S.-based Chippendales only had to a pay a 15 per cent artists' tax for their tour of Norway this month while his female strippers, also foreigners, pay a 24 per cent tax. "This is pure discrimination," Morland told the Oslo newspaper Dagbladet. "Chippendales are the highest level in stripping, but what they do, on a larger scale, is exactly the same as what happens at a regular club."

NEW STUDY REVEALS CHEATING MAKES YOUR MARRIAGE STRONGER
(Italy) - According to a new study, husbands and wives who cheat on each other are more likely to stay together. Dr. Lucielle Ostertag from the Italian Institute of Social Sciences conducted the controversial research. "I started the analysis project to discover how damaging infidelity was to marriages," says Dr. Ostertag. "I was as surprised as everyone when the numbers proved that cheating on your spouse is actually good for your marriage." According to the scientific survey, the more extramarital flings a couple enjoys, the more likely they are to remain together and the happier they will be. "Some of the strongest unions I studied included spouses who each were involved in repeated extramarital affairs throughout the relationship," explains Dr. Ostertag. "My findings have turned our preconceived notion of the strength of monogamy on its head." Christian psychologist and family values researcher Rob Hallidoy finds the study troubling. "This study is irresponsible and unsound," exclaims Hallidoy. "I don't care what her research shows, adultery simply is not good for families." "Not every extramarital affair is good," admits Dr. Ostertag. "Long-term relationships outside of marriage were found to be quite damaging. Also, test subjects who had flings with local townsfolk did not enjoy the marital benefits that were realized by those who had flings with people who lived far away." Dr. Ostertag has developed a set of guidelines for those who want to try cheating as a way of making their marriage stronger. Dr. Ostertag notes that after many years of marriage, partners can grow tired of each other. "It's inevitable for some familiarity to set in. But by bringing a little variety in, with new short-term partners, you can help keep a relationship healthy and strong for many years to come."

BEER WASHES AWAY TROUBLES, LITERALLY
(Germany, Reuters) - A German brewery has developed a beer you can wash down your food with or wash down your body. Klosterbrauerei, or "monastic brewery," was looking for ways to mop up excess capacity in a slumping beer market and struck upon the bath-time supplement to help beer drinkers soak away their stresses and strains. The brewery, in Neuzelle, near Leipzig, eastern Germany, says the dark brown brew has restorative powers for both the mind and body to improve the skin and pep up spirits. "It opens up the pores, the yeast penetrates the skin and after 15 minutes your skin feels softer everywhere," company spokesman Dirk Vock told Reuters. "It is also a good remedy for people with skin problems." "The beer cloaks bathers in a delicate aroma of malt," said Vock, who recommended about three liters of beer per bathtub. But Klosterbrauerei, which showed the bath beer to shoppers in Leipzig, said those taking a boozy dip would not end up smelling like a brewery. "When you get to work, you won't smell like you've just emerged from the corner bar," Vock said.

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Man Wants
to Pay $125,000 to Have Killer Sex

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MAN WANTS TO PAY $125,000 TO HAVE KILLER SEX
(Germany) - A 72-year-old man in Berlin, Germany, is looking for the woman who can kill him with sex, according to ABC. Rolf Eden, considered a Berlin playboy, is offering $125,000 to the woman who can kill him in bed. Eden is a property tycoon and nightclub owner. "My real desire is to die on a lady while making love," he said. "A lawyer has my will, and in the will, I have $125,000 for this lady." He added that he's never had to actually pay for sex before. "I never paid one for making love," he said. "If they needed a new nose or a new breast or want to go to school or want to go to university." So far, Eden has been checking his e-mail for suitable would-be sexual assassins, ABC reported. He said that he has received replies from all over the world, including the United States. Eden plans to buy airplane tickets for about 35 women to have them spend two days in his bed. ABC reported there can't be any poison or weapons involved in Eden's demise.

ARTIST UNDERTAKES FRENCH KISS MISSION
A Japanese body artist has begun a tour of the Belgian city of Mechelen to give as many people a French kiss as possible. Yoshi Suzuki is carrying a toothbrush and toothpaste on her two-week mission to "share love" around the city. The tour will be filmed as part of the Mechlinian porno festival called "Porno Around the World." Suziki says she has been surprised by how tolerant the public has been. She told Belgian newspaper Het Laatste Nieuws, "Young or old, men or women, I ask everyone if I may give them a long passionate kiss. It's my way to share love. "In most cultures people only share a passionate kiss with their partner. But I want to widen the horizon. I share my kisses with everyone, who agrees to accept one of mine. "I'm surprised to find Belgians don't take their time to kiss. Usually a kiss takes about one minute or more. But in Mechelen it's only half the time. It's the most tolerant city I have ever seen."

SLEEPING COUPLE SURVIVES CAR CRASHING INTO HOME ON TOP OF THEM
(New Hampshire, AP) - Joanne and Mahlon Donovan were sound asleep when they were joined by a car that fell through their roof right over their bed. "We should be dead. We should be dead,'' Joanne Donovan, 63, said after the intrusion. She and her husband suffered only minor injuries. The speeding car veered through a neighbor's yard at about 3 a.m., hit a knoll and vaulted into the air, soaring over two cars, a pickup truck and telephone wires before crashing down onto the Donovans' home. Police estimated it was airborne for about 150 feet. "I woke up and I was buried up to my head with Sheetrock and other stuff that came down from the house,'' said Mahlon "Spud'' Donovan, 65. "There was this humongous explosion, and then the thing was right in front of my face. I could feel the heat from the exhaust system coming through the sheets." The crash destroyed three bedrooms and knocked part of the house off its foundation. In addition, crews had to knock down part of a wall to drag the car out. The driver, Julie Sarbanis, 20, was not seriously hurt. She was charged with drunken driving. The car came to rest about a foot above the bed, with one end supported by a bedroom dresser.

GIRL DIES AFTER SWALLOWING BUTTERFLY
(South Africa) - A nine-year-old girl has died in Uitenhage in the Eastern Cape after accidentally swallowing a butterfly, SABC radio news reported. Her uncle, Johnny Baartman, said Megan Baartman was chasing butterflies when one flew into her throat. She began choking shortly afterwards. Her mother took her to a doctor, but she died on arrival. It is suspected that her breathing passage was blocked. Doctors said a powdery substance on butterflies may cause internal organs to swell. The species of the buttlerfly was not known.

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Bees Trap Shoppers in Liquor Store
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BEES TRAP SHOPPERS IN LIQUOR STORE
(California, Reuters) - Marauding bees held shoppers hostage inside a Los Angeles liquor store for two hours while engaging firefighters in a tense standoff, officials reported. The bees showed up suddenly at the front door of Sam's Mini Market in the northern Los Angeles suburb of Chatsworth at about 11 a.m. "A lot of them came in a second," Singh told Reuters. "One customer, he was trying to walk out and he said, 'Look at that!' There was a dark cloud." The customer slammed the door shut and the siege began. The bees, which had built a hive under the liquor store sign, trapped Singh, two customers and an employee inside the store for about two hours as firefighters repeatedly doused the insects with firefighting foam. "All of them got dead but they were still coming from somewhere," Singh said, adding that as one swarm of bees was killed, another wave would appear. "We would foam some of them and the bees would leave and then come back. It became a question of who can outlast the other," fire department spokesman Bob Collis said. The fire crew gave the bees one last soaking and urged customers to make a run for it at around 1:00 p.m. then left Singh to battle the stragglers, Collis said. "We assumed they were not the Africanized type because they were not aggressive—they were just flying around," Collis said. After mopping up gallons of foam and bee bodies, Singh attacked the hive one last time—this time with a can of bug spray from his own shelves. "That worked pretty good," he said. "I hope they don't come back. We don't want them."

BUS GUNMAN'S LIMP EXCUSE
(New York, New York Post) - A Brooklyn bandit who spent 10 years in jail for hijacking a bus bound for Atlantic City admits he committed the crime because he was "sexually inadequate." "The inability to perform as a man thinks he should, or last a long time with a woman, conspired to create a monster," Dean Sacco told The Post after serving time for kidnapping, attempted robbery and criminal possession of a stolen weapon. The mayhem started in July 1991 after two girlfriends broke up with Sacco, who became "completely suicidal," he said. Sacco, 44, took a bus trip from New York to Virginia Beach to buy a rifle to kill himself. Instead, he purchased a stolen .38-caliber gun and a sock full of hollow-point bullets from a man he met at a flophouse. On the ride home, Sacco had an idea. "Robbing a bus," Sacco said. "Look at all these innocent people. All of them look so harmless." On Aug. 4, 1991, Sacco pulled his gun and announced a stickup on a casino bus rolling down the Garden State Parkway. Sacco was subdued by quick-thinking driver Armando Helliger, who slammed on the brakes, causing the gunman to fall into the front stairwell. In 1992, Sacco was sentenced to 21 years in jail but was released on parole about a year ago.

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