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Things That Prove I Live Dangerously

By Scott Roeben


I don't floss every single day.

On a real sunny day, sometimes I'll put on a Number 6 sunscreen rather than a Number 10.

On escalators, I rarely use the handrails.

When I make mashed potatoes, I stop mashing before all the lumps are out.

I don't keep medicine in a "cool, dry place."

Nearly every day I run around the house carrying scissors.

I once put a quarter in a newspaper machine, and took TWO newspapers.

I often change lanes without using my blinker.

Recently, while grocery shopping, I decided not to buy a bag of potato chips...and I left it in the frozen food section.

I've looked directly at an eclipse.

More than once I've gotten off on the right side of a horse.

When I use a saw, I don't use U.L. tested safety goggles.

I once told a guy on a Harley Davidson that he was on my foot.

I've gone swimming only five minutes after I've eaten.

I sing without warming up.

More often than not, I cross the street without looking both ways. Well, you know, rural streets. And usually at 2 a.m.

I've bought breath mints without checking the price.

Occasionally, when I leave a room, I leave the lights on.

I have used my hairdryer with the water running--in the other room.

I've clipped my fingernails by candlelight.

When I was younger, I stepped on the cracks in the sidewalk. (Of course, my mother's really paying for that now...)

When a cashier makes a mistake in my favor, as long as its not over a dollar, I don't say anything.

I've spit into the wind.

I've eaten yellow snow.

I've taken candy from strangers.

When I color, I don't stay in the lines.

On occasion, I don't use return address labels.

Sometimes when I take a test, I use a Number 1 pencil.


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